


Gavin's Secrets

by RimmieTimmie



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: M/M, Mavin, Papa Geoff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-11
Updated: 2015-02-18
Packaged: 2018-02-12 17:22:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 35,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2118363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RimmieTimmie/pseuds/RimmieTimmie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gavin has a condition. He's tried to hide it from the AH guys, especially Michael, through fear that whatever is going on with them will end suddenly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Snappy Gavin

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Care for Me?](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1113160) by [Tiikeria](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tiikeria/pseuds/Tiikeria). 



> So, yeah, there might be some triggering later in the story for possible anxiety, but nothing too heavy.

Something had been wrong with Gavin Free. Some of the AH guys had noticed it, others had not. The main person filled with concern for the young Brit was one of his ‘American Parents’, Griffon Ramsey. She had noticed the changes in him over the past few months, and she did not like what she was seeing at all. On the outside, and especially in their Let’s Play videos, Gavin was still the happy, bouncy guy with the energy of a five year old. However, Gavin was not his happy self. 

He had dark bags under his eyes, which made it obvious that he had not been sleeping properly, if at all. His hair was messier than usual, and he jumped a mile if anybody came into contact with him. He tried to act the same around the AH guys, and especially around the Ramseys, but Griffon knew that something was going on with the lad. 

When she came down for breakfast on that Wednesday morning, around 6am, she discovered that Gavin had gone for his usual run, via the note that he always left. She went around her usual morning routine, eventually waking Geoff up, who was oblivious to whatever was going on with his pseudo-son. He ate his breakfast, and when Gavin came in, greeted him, before going back to his cereal. 

“Gav, are you having breakfast?” Griffon called from down the hall.

“No thanks, Griffon, I’m not hungry.” Gavin replied.

He headed upstairs and changed, his head slightly clearer from his run. It was one way he kept himself in check, though he knew he wasn’t doing a great job lately. He was tired, very tired, but he tried not to let it stop him. Whilst Gavin was upstairs changing, there was a very confused Geoff sitting downstairs whilst being lectured by Griffon on how ignorant he was being. 

“Can’t you see the boy is falling to pieces?” Griffon pleaded.

“He’s fine,” Geoff shrugged. “If he was struggling, he’d tell me. He knows he can tell me anything. I made him promise.”

“Promise?” Griffon repeated.

“Just before he came here, he was having a pretty rough time in England. I don’t know what happened, I never asked. He wasn’t the happiest lad, though everyone just passed it off as nerves. I sat him down, and made him agree that if anything was ever majorly bothering him then he needed to come and see me.” Geoff explained. 

“Geoff, I don’t know what’s going on, but you need to find out. He’s going to destroy himself. He barely eats or sleeps. He’s like a walking zombie.” Griffon said, her hands on her hips. Geoff could see that his wife was serious. “He’s like your son, Geoff. Something is really bothering him, and I just don’t want to see it overwhelm him.” 

Geoff felt his paternal pride kick in, and suddenly found himself agreeing with Griffon to keep an eye on the lad. The conversation ended as Gavin strolled into the kitchen, his hair neater now, having made some attempt at improving his unkempt appearance. He was clean shaven, and had a pair of jeans on with a basic t-shirt and Converse. Normal Gavin clothes. 

“Come on buddy, let’s get to work.” Geoff sighed.

Gavin agreed, and they headed off. Geoff didn’t miss the final warning glance that Griffon sent his way. He drove them to the Rooster Teeth building, with the two talking about normal things, mainly Minecraft ideas, with Gavin’s being unbelievably difficult to pull off. 

The pair walked into the building, and went their separate ways. Geoff had a meeting with Gus and Burnie first thing, so he headed up to one of the conference rooms, whereas Gavin headed towards the Rooster Teeth office. He dumped his jacket and bag on his desk, before heading over to the Communal Kitchen. 

He was thankful to find it empty, and quickly poured himself a hot mug of coffee. He really needed it this morning, though such things were usually reserved for Geoff, with Michael preferring energy drinks. Gavin took the first sip of his coffee, smiling at the bitter taste he so enjoyed. He took his coffee black – he didn’t use to, but Geoff had referred to milky coffee as sissy coffee, and soon Gavin had learned to enjoy the taste of black coffee. He did miss his tea sometimes though. It just wasn’t the same in America. He felt a pang of sadness as he thought of his home country back in England. 

He had planned to leave everything behind, but it hadn’t ended that way – he’s ended up with nothing to leave behind but Dan. He was glad to come to America in a way. The Ramseys had been so good to him to, letting him stay with them. He had drank about half of his coffee, savouring the taste, when Michael entered the kitchen. With his curly locks and warm brown eyes, he had caught Gavin’s eye from the moment the Brit had first arrived. He was extremely attracted to Michael, not that Gavin would ever admit it. 

“Hey, douchepants.” Michael greeted.

“Hey, Mogar.” Gavin replied.

“You okay, Gav?” Michael asked, looking at his friend closely. 

“I’m fine.” Gavin snapped, his cheerful exterior melting for a second, before it returned, a smile plastered on his face. “Sorry, Michael. Sorry.”

“It’s fucking okay, dude.” Michael says. “Just remember, I’m Rage Quit, not you.” Michael was attempting to make the Brit laugh, but he only earned a small smile. “You got much editing left to do?”

“A lot.” Gavin replied, and Michael noticed how worn down he sounded. 

“Hey, we can help you out with it. Or Lindsay?” Michael suggested.

“No, she’s got enough. I’m tippy-toppers Mi-cool.” Gavin said, his voice returning to it’s normal happiness, though it was slightly shaky. 

As Gavin walked away with his half-drunk mug of coffee, he chastised himself for his actions. He came in early with Geoff as most mornings the gent had a meeting, and the other guys weren’t in the building yet. This gave Gavin a few minutes to pull himself together, but for whatever reason, Michael was in earlier, and Gavin was not prepared for him. Anyone but him. 

He sat down at his desk, putting his jacket and bag away. He finished his coffee, pulling his headphones on and loading up his computer. He began to edit the footage from the latest Let’s Play GTA V that they had recorded, laughing as a heist they had set up failed miserably, with every single one of them dying. Gavin, of course, was first to die. He was about half way through editing, lost in his work, when the other guys strolled into the office and loaded up their machines. Gavin never even looked up from his screen.


	2. Guilty Exhaustion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Geoff catches onto how unhappy Gavin is right now, and Lindsay gives Gavin a terrifying challenge.

Geoff eventually returned from his meeting, and upon seeing Gavin lost in his work editing a video, he thought it was best to leave the lad to do his work, and postpone the game playing for an hour or so. 

“What are we doing today, Geoff?” Ray asked.

“We’ll be doing King Michael in Minecraft, and another GTA V, along with a few things to do. A light day.” Geoff explained.

“We starting now?” Michael asked, glancing across to Gavin, who was oblivious to the conversation going on around him.

“Not yet. Have an hour or so to yourselves. Michael, make sure you’ve got everything set up for King Michael.”

Michael nodded, and loaded up Geoff’s XBOX, which was where their Minecraft World was. He set to work finalising everything for his Kingship, and he too was lost in the world of work, leaving four AH guys having a causal conversation.

“Is Gavin okay, Geoff?” Ryan asked Geoff, looking at the boy with concern.

“He’s fine, he’s just tired.” Geoff covered for Gavin. “Not getting much sleep, apparently.”

“No kidding.” Ray said, looking at his friend with concern. 

“Is it that obvious?” Geoff asked, concerned over Gavin’s personal reputation around the building.

“Only to us.” Jack answered. “But we’re with him all the time.” 

“I’m gonna try and sort him out, get him some sleep. He’s got a lot of work on.” Geoff said. 

“Do you think it’s anything… serious?” Ryan asked quietly, after Jack and Ray had put their headphones on and began work. 

“I don’t know.” Geoff replied honestly, knowing that there was no point lying to Ryan. “He hasn’t told me anything.”

“He tells you everything. That’s the way it is.” Ryan said, frowning. 

“Clearly not. Griffon’s really worried about him.” Geoff muttered.

“So are you.” Ryan said. “You keep giving him these looks, like you’re trying to help him by giving him soft looks.” 

Geoff said nothing as Gavin had pulled off his headphones, taking his mug into his hand and heading out of the AH Office. Ryan sent Geoff a look that told him to go and find him. Geoff stood up, heading off in the direction of Gavin. He found him in the kitchen, making another mug of coffee.

“Hey,” Geoff greeted. “Drinking my favourite coffee? You’ve got a death wish, lad.” 

“Sorry, I’ll buy you a new jar.” Gavin replied sheepishly. 

“It’s okay.” Geoff said, making himself a mug of coffee. The two men stood in the kitchen in silence, sipping their steaming drinks. “Gav… you know you can talk to me about  
anything, right?” 

Gavin’s heartbeat increased tenfold, his hands beginning to shake, his palms sweaty. He swallowed nervously, before replying, “Uh, y-yeah, sure Geoff.” 

“How’s that editing coming along?” Geoff asked.

“I’m nearly done, just adding the promotional clips on the end.” Gavin replied, obviously grateful at the change of subject. “What are we doing today?” 

“King Michael first, then some GTA V and some Things To Do.” Geoff replied. “Lindsay’s editing the GTA V, you’ve got King Michael and the Things To Do.”

“Okay, yeah, no problem.” Gavin said quickly. 

“Gav, if it’s just too much work, then tell me.” Geoff replied. 

“No, it’s my job. I can do it.” Gavin shrugged.

He knew that Geoff wasn’t going to let the subject go, so he quickly bid him goodbye and hurried back to the AH Office. He finished editing the last Let’s Play GTA V, and saved it onto the disk, before heading down to Lindsay, who thanked him for it, and plugged it into her computer straight away. 

“Hey, Gav, can I ask you a favour?” Lindsay asked.

“Yeah, sure.” Gavin replied.

“Will you be on the Podcast in a few weeks?” Lindsay said. “The fans keep calling for you and Meg to be on it. I asked Meg, and she agreed, so it’s just you.” 

Gavin’s blood ran cold. Being on the Podcast was one thing, he could control his condition enough to appear on them without anyone noticing, but with Meg? That’s a whole different story. 

“I – um.” Gavin said, and when he looked at Lindsay’s disappointed face, he knew he only had one choice. “Yeah.”

“Thanks, Gavin.” Lindsay beamed.

“I gotta dash, we’re recording in a min, I’ll catch you later, yeah?” Gavin asked, and Lindsay nodded.

He darted down the corridor and out of sight, feeling his heart racing. He leaned against the wall in the empty corridor, focusing on breathing in and out, fighting the black mist that was coming in. He grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge in the kitchen, and took several long gulps. It took about fifteen minutes for him to calm down, but he did.  
He had done what he always needed to when he felt one of the flashbacks coming on – he got out of the situation, just tried to block everything else out and focus on one or two things. Drinking something usually helped, as did focusing on his breathing. He was usually able to fight it. He didn’t bother if he didn’t have company. They were never frequent when he first came to America, but they had recently become more frequent.

He eventually made his way back to the AH Office, and felt guilty that everyone was waiting impatiently for him. He muttered a quick apology and turned his XBOX on, feeling incredibly guilty over his stupid broken brain. 

"Hey, Gav, you okay?" Geoff asked quietly as he passed by. 

Gavin hastily nodded and picked up his controller.


	3. Gavin Gets Caught

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gavin plays King Michael with the other lads and gents, and works late once more. He thinks he is alone, but gets caught by Ryan, who discovers how unhappy the Brit is.

“BOW DOWN TO YOUR KING” Michael ordered, three days later as they played King Michael. Due to network difficulties, it had been postponed for two two days.

“King Mogar, please may I stand by your side through the first task?” Gavin pleaded, and heard everyone else laughing. 

“Eh, alright Gavin.” Michael agreed.

He had to wait for the other guys to get their spawns set in the throne room. Once they slept till dawn, they all converged around their Minecraft King. 

“Peasants. Your first task is – bring me a piece of Gavin’s fake towers from his trophy room. The first, second, third and fourth people to bring me a piece of gold will be able to place it on their obsidian block.” Michael instructed. 

“NOOOOOO!” Gavin whined.

“Gavin, you shall stand by my side, as requested, and wear these piss boots.” Michael ordered. He threw a pair of boots at Gavin’s character, and the Creeper put them on. “You shall be my court jester, and dance for me.” 

Gavin made his character jump up onto the ledge of the throne whilst the others set to work destroying his not-so-secret trophy room. Gavin’s character danced around, making Michael laugh throughout the task. When the others returned, they all placed their gold blocks on their obsidian (or dirt, in the case of Ray). 

“Gavin, I totally wasn’t planning on doing this, but as you were such a good sport, I’m gonna go ahead and give you a gold block.” Michael chuckled. 

Gavin grinned, and made his character bow down to the King, though it was more like thrusting at him. “Thank you, my liege.” 

Gavin’s character moved forwards, and picked up the gold block that King Michael had thrown him. He headed over and tried to put it onto the obsidian block, but instead he put it onto the furnace behind. 

“Uh, King Michael.” Gavin said, knowing that he didn’t have a pickaxe to fix his mistake. 

“Oh my god, Gavin, you dumb fuck.” Michael replied as he saw what Gavin had done. “You’re so fucking stupid.”

“Come here, I’ll fix it.” Geoff announced.

He walked over to Gavin’s obsidian block, and destroyed the gold brick behind it. He then placed it on top of the obsidian, and the laughter at Gavin’s expense finally calmed down, as the group headed onto their next task.

They finished the last Let’s Play around five pm, and everyone else left for home. Gavin told a patient Geoff that he’d be working for a while, and eventually Geoff left for home. Gavin had insisted that he would walk home, and he knew that he would appreciate the fresh air. Gavin loaded up his computer and began to edit the footage he had, feeling his eyes begin to droop as he stared at the footage the boys had recorded a few weeks ago. He was so tired that he was working at half his normal rate, meaning that he had several videos due to be released tomorrow that he hadn’t even touched. Work just kept coming in, for example, he had to edit King Michael, which was a two parter, along with three Things To Do. That was just today’s work. 

He finished the editing for the last VS episode, and moved onto the Let’s Build for King Ray that was due to be brought out tomorrow. He edited it like a zombie, lost in his work.  
Gavin may have thought that he was alone in the building, but he was incorrect. Ryan too had work to do, as a corrupt file had left him needing to re-do a whole recording. He finally finished, and decided that he would swing by the AH Office to make Gavin go home. Geoff had pulled him to one side at lunch as he knew that Gavin would be staying late, and told Ryan to make sure that Gavin was doing okay and make him go home when Ryan did. 

When Ryan got to the AH Office, he was met with an unfamiliar sight. Sat on his chair, his knees brought up to his chest, was a sobbing Gavin. He was crying quietly, so much so that Ryan barely heard him. Gavin’s eyes were loosely fixated on the monitor, which had reverted to its screensaver.

“Gavin?” Ryan asked softly.

Gavin snapped up at the sound of his name, and muttered “Shit” as his eyes found Ryan. The gent couldn’t help but be surprised at Gavin’s choice of words, as the Brit very rarely swore. Gavin quickly ducked his head away from Ryan’s view, though it was very obvious to Ryan that the lad was trying to wipe away his tears quickly and look like he had not in fact been crying. Gavin quickly turned to face Ryan, his legs now under the desk table.

“Hi Ryan.” Gavin said shakily, though he had tried to sound as calm as possible. 

“You alright, Gav?” Ryan asked.

“Why does everyone keep asking me that today?” Gavin sighed. “I’m tippity-top thanks, Rye-Bread.” 

Ryan was not fooled by Gavin’s suddenly cheery demeanour. “Are you sure?”

“Is there anything in particular you wanted?” Gavin asked, ignoring Ryan’s question.

“I knew you were working late, so I thought I’d come and check on you. You need to go home, get some sleep.”

“Easier said than done,” Gavin muttered under his breath, though he did not know that Ryan had heard him. 

“Come on, I’ll give you a lift.” Ryan offered.

Twenty minutes later, Gavin was pulling his keys out and unlocking the front door. He waved to Ryan as he pulled off and closed the door behind him. It was around 10pm, but Geoff and Griffon were sitting on the sofa, waiting for him.


	4. The Secrets Are Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gavin comes home to face Geoff, and discovers that Ryan has not been confidential. Griffon forces the two men to talk.

“Hey, Gavin.” The pair greeted.

“Hello.” He replied.

He put his bag into the closet, and sat down on the chair with a sigh. After a minute or so, he realised that Griffon was sending the pair of males worried looks. 

“You two need to talk. Sort things out.” Griffon announced.

With that, she got up and left the living room, heading upstairs. The two men were left in an uncomfortable silence, neither of them sure what to do or say. Geoff decided that he would be honest with the Brit. 

“I’m worried about you.” Geoff announced. “We both are.” 

“You don’t need to be.” Gavin replied.

“You promised me, remember?” Geoff reminded, and Gavin’s face fell. “I know it was almost a year ago since you came here, Gavin, but surely you remember.”

“I remember.” Gavin said in nothing more than a whisper. “I-“

“Gavin, Ryan called me before he brought you home.” Geoff revealed.

“He what? He had no right!” Gavin said.

“Yes, he did. I have an agreement with all of my employees. It applies to all of them. Not only did he do it as my friend, he did it before he cares about you. What’s going on, Gavin?” Geoff explained. 

“I – I don’t want you to treat me differently.” Gavin muttered. “They all will if they find out.”

“They don’t need to find out. I need to know what’s going on so that I can help you, Gavin, as your housemate, your boss, and your friend.” 

Gavin was silent for a minute, opening his mouth and closing it again, as if trying to tell Geoff something, but then failing, not knowing how to say it. “You can tell me, Gav. I’m not going to do anything drastic, like kick you out or fire you, if that’s what you’re worrying about.”

“I - I -" Gavin looked up at Geoff's soft face, though the worry on his face was obvious. Gavin took a sip of water, and began once more."Back in England, about a month before I came here, when you had just offered me the job, my Dad died from a rare leukaemia. It devastated my Mum. I couldn’t take your job offer, we were the only family that each other had.”

“You did, though.” Geoff said, and Gavin nodded.

“About a week before I was due to leave, she went out driving, and It was very icy. She was in an accident.” Gavin revealed, his eyes filling with tears. “She died a few hours later.”

“Gav, I’m so sorry, I never knew.” Geoff said, guilt washing over him. How could he not have realised?

“I never wanted any of you to know.” Gavin shrugged. “They held the funeral, and I was all ready to call you and tell you that I couldn’t take up your job. Dan stopped me. Told me that I needed a fresh start, and I could at least give America a try.” 

“So you came.” Geoff stated, and Gavin nodded.

“I was fine for the first few weeks of being here, I was busy. Then we went through a patch where we had done too many videos, and we had nothing to do. It sort of all hit me during that time. I got into a pretty bad way.” 

Geoff remember the time period. It was about a month into Gavin’s life in America, he remembered the lad being out a lot, not really eating. What was causing the same thing to happen again?

“I went to the doctors, and I –“ Gavin trailed off.

“You what? What did the doctors tell you, Gavin?” Geoff persisted, a million awful scenarios running through his mind. 

“I have PTSD.” Gavin said, and upon seeing Geoff’s confused expression, continued, “Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. They say it was caused by the two sudden deaths, and a lot of bullying when I was younger.”

“You were bullied?” Geoff repeated, finding it hard to believe that anyone could dislike the loveable lad enough to harm him. Gavin nodded, and Geoff encouraged him to go on. 

“What happens with this PTSD thing?”

“I have these flashbacks of different memories, all of them terrifying. Sometimes they’re triggered by a place, but they’re generally stress-related. I often don’t know where I am or what I was doing until a few minutes afterwards. I can get quite violent if it’s a bad one. I have no idea what I’m doing until I come out of it.” 

Geoff was stunned. This innocent, kind, gentle lad with infinite energy was burdened with this – this condition, leaving him terrified and disorientated. And he’d struggled through it on his own.

“Does anyone else know?” Geoff asked.

“Dan. There’s not much he can do, but he’s supportive, I guess. I had one when he visited a few months ago.” Gavin answered. “Meg, too.”

“Can you – can you tell when there’s one coming on?” Geoff asked. 

“Sometimes. I sort of go numb, and everything goes a little fuzzy or dizzy. Like when you’re in the sea, and you can feel the current pulling you out?” Gavin paused, and Geoff nodded, showing his understanding. “It feels like that. Other times it’s just instant and I don't get any warning. I have a minute’s warning at most. It’s usually about ten seconds.”

“Have you ever had them in the office?” Geoff asked.

Gavin nodded meekly. “Occasionally.”

“What do you do if someone’s with you?” Geoff asked.

“I excuse myself, usually going to the kitchen area or the bathrooms. I deal with them there. I sort of have to fight them off until I can get away.” Gavin explained. “Do you have any  
more questions?”

“Do they stop you sleeping?” Geoff questioned.

“Occasionally.” Gavin answered vaguely. 

“They cause nightmares. Insomnia.” Geoff stated, and Gavin nodded, as if he were ashamed of the fact.

The two fell into a silence. Geoff finally understood why the Brit had been acting the way he had – getting little to no sleep, being irate sometimes, excusing himself at odd times, pushing people away. He was scared. Scared that people would find out, treat him differently. 

“This stays between us, okay? I will never tell anyone without your full permission.” Geoff said, looking directly at the young lad opposite him, who relaxed slightly at his words. “Why have they been more frequent?” 

“Stress, I’d imagine. The lack of sleep is making me edit slower, so I have more work to do in less time. I don’t want to let people down.” Gavin mumbled, finding the floor very interesting. 

“Gavin, you’re a fucking idiot. Your health is much more important to me than some video being edited on time.” Geoff said.

When Gavin neither looked up nor said anything, Geoff walked over to the lad and wrapped his arms around him. Gavin bit his lip, hesitating for a moment, before hugging the older man back. It felt nice to have someone who was like a Father figure once more. 

“Get some sleep, asshole.” Geoff ordered, and Gavin nodded, heading up to his room.


	5. The Break Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gavin is anxious around Geoff the next morning, and Geoff notices the sexual tension between Michael and Gavin, as does Ray. Geoff is the least of Gavin's problems though, when Meg turns up after two weeks away.

Gavin had been doing absolutely everything the next morning to delay facing Geoff. He knew that his friend wasn’t angry last night, but he could very easily have decided that he didn’t in fact want a freak living with him, someone so unpredictable and well, broken. 

Eventually, Gavin had ran out of things to do, and was forced to head downstairs and into the kitchen. He had given Geoff permission to tell Griffon about his condition, as he felt it was only fair for her to know, as they were living under the same roof. 

He walked over to the cupboard, pulling out a glass and filling it with water. He found his meds, which were in his small cupboard in the kitchen. Geoff and Griffon had never been bothered to look in there. He pulled out his medication, figuring that he might as well not be as secretive with it now, as they both knew. He quickly took the elephant pills, and sat down at the table anxiously.

“How did you sleep, buddy?” Geoff asked casually. 

“Okay, thanks, Geoff.” Gavin replied calmly, taking another sip of his water.

The morning went on as it normally did, with Gavin feeling much better about the whole situation. He actually felt a small sense of relief – he didn’t have to keep it to himself completely. He could trust Geoff to keep his secret. Just as they were leaving, Gavin was pulled to one side by Griffon. 

“It’s okay,” She soothed, seeing Gavin’s panicked face. “I just wanted to let you know, it’s all going to be fine. Geoff – he’ll look after you when you’re at the office.”

Gavin nodded, and mumbled a quiet thank-you to Griffon. She knew that Gavin was extremely ashamed of his condition, though he had no reason to be. He thought that he was a freak, and he wanted nobody else to know. Griffon just feared that it would happen when they were all there, and they would find out in the worst way possible; seeing it first hand.

Gavin and Geoff pulled up at the office, and once more went their separate ways. Gavin went to get his coffee, but Geoff wasn’t going to a meeting. He didn’t know where he was going. He was wandering around, trying to get his thoughts into order.

He needed to be strong for Gavin. It was obvious to him how much pain this condition put him in, and Geoff was worried that Gavin would start punishing himself for it. He and Griffon had discussed it this morning, and both of them had agreed to act the same around Gavin. They couldn’t treat him differently now that they knew. 

As Geoff was heading towards the AH Office, he ran into Ryan, who was on his way to the PC Desk he held, next to Lindsay’s. 

“Hey, Geoff.” Ryan greeted. “How’s Gavin?”

“Better.” Geoff replied vaguely.

“Did the two of you talk it out?” Ryan questioned. 

“Yeah, yeah, we did.” Geoff answered. “I think he’s going to be okay.”

“It’s his business, I’m not going to pry. I know he’s in capable hands.” Ryan said, shrugging.

Geoff felt grateful to his closest friend for his background support. Geoff grabbed his usual mug of coffee and headed into the office, feeling more positive than he had in a while. He waited for his whole team to arrive, and noticed Michael and Gavin messing around in the corner. 

“You love me really Mi-cool!” Gavin whined.

“Like dicks I do, Gavin.” Michael replied, though he was laughing. “You constantly kill me on games, blow my shit up and fuck with whatever I’m trying to do.”

“You’d just get bored if I didn’t do it, love.” Gavin chuckled.

“Love?” Ray mouthed to Geoff, who just shrugged his shoulders in response. 

They settled down to work, with Ray and Jack doing a VS, and Michael recording a Rage Quit. Gavin was supposed to be editing, but he was watching Michael getting angrier, with a look of obvious amusement on his face. 

Sometimes Geoff wondered just how close Michael and Gavin actually were. He was surprised that Gavin had not told Michael about his condition, but Geoff supposed that Gavin was terrified it ruin their friendship. Gavin soon set to work on his own editing, though he still glanced over to Michael’s screen every now and then and chuckled.  
Just before lunchtime, Lindsay popped her head into the office, searching the room until her eyes landed on Gavin. “Can I have a word, Gavin?” She asked. Everyone looked up from what they were doing, especially watching Gavin’s panicked face. He followed her out of the room, and they stepped out of earshot of the other guys in the office.

“Meg’s back.” She stated.

As far as everyone was concerned, Gavin’s girlfriend of three months, Meg Turney, had gone to visit her parents on the other side of the state. The truth is, Meg and Gavin were on the verge of splitting up.

He knew that he couldn’t be with her, and as cliché as it sounded, it was actually him that was the problem, not her. He had a feeling that she knew, and she had told him two weeks ago that she needed some time to think. Gavin knew that today was probably going to be the end of their relationship. His friends knew nothing about what was going on, not even Geoff. Gavin couldn’t help but feel like everything was happening at once, it was happening too fast.

He headed over to Lindsay’s desk, where sure enough, was sitting his girlfriend. She walked over to him and pulled him into a hug. He hugged her back. He may not have any romantic interest in her, but he still liked her as a person, and had missed her over the past two weeks. 

“We need to talk.” Meg said to Gavin.

That was all the notice that Lindsay needed, and she got up. She practically dragged Ryan up out of his chair, and he got the message, leaving the room also. It left just Meg and Gavin in earshot of anyone else.

“You can’t pretend any more, Gavin.” Meg stated. “It’s not fair on either of us.”

“I know, I’m sorry.” He said, looking down at his shoes. “They can’t know. Not yet.”

“I’m not making you tell them, Gavin. When you decide to tell them that you’re gay is your decision, and yours only.” Meg said softly. “It’s not a big deal, you know. Not to them. They won’t care.”

“Geoff found out.” Gavin said quietly. 

“About everything?” Meg asked, unable to hide her surprise. 

“Not everything, no. He wormed out of me about the ‘condition’. He guilted me.” Gavin sighed. “He doesn’t know that I’m – I’m-“

“It’s fine, you don’t have to say it.” Meg said.

“How did you know?” Gavin asked.

“Believe it or not, you’re not the only lover I’ve ever had, Gav. It’s not hard to tell the difference between someone who wants to have sex and someone who doesn’t.” Meg stated. 

“I’m sorry. I’m such an idiot. A bloody idiot. It’s not fair on you. It’s never been fair on you.” Gavin said, feeling guilt wash over him.

“I’m sorry too, Gavin. I should have put you out of your misery sooner. I was trying to help you, maybe if I’d given you a bit more time, you could have come to terms with it on your own.” Meg sighed. “It’s okay, Gavin. What you’re feeling is perfectly okay.”

“What if they find out – if I can’t get away and stop the… whatever they are.” Gavin said, shaking his head.

“Call them your blackouts.” Meg decided, and Gavin nodded. “If that does happen, then it happens. They’re your friends, they care about you, and they’re not going to abandon you. Did Geoff abandon you?” 

“Not yet, no, but-“

“But nothing, Gavin Free.” Meg interrupted. “What are we going to do about this break-up?”

“Lindsay knows what’s going on, doesn’t she?” Gavin asked. Meg nodded. “Does she know why we’re splitting up?”

“No,” Meg said, and Gavin breathed a sigh of relief. “I just told her that there were things that had happened that we couldn’t fix. She got the point that I didn’t want to go into detail.”

“Then she’ll have warned them. The guys.” Gavin said, and Meg nodded her agreement. “Are you sad?” 

“A little.” Meg admitted. “Happy, too, though. Like the lie is finally over.”

“Agreed.” Gavin nodded. “I have to go.” 

They both stood up, and Gavin pulled his ex-girlfriend-turned-good-friend into a hug, feeling relieved. It was over. They didn’t have to do the podcast, he wouldn’t have to lie to all of those fans that he was in a happy relationship with Meg. 

“I knew agreeing to the Podcast would work. You’re too predictable.” Meg chuckled. 

Gavin sent her a playful glare, and they said their goodbyes, with both insistent that they would have to grab coffee and catch up properly soon. Gavin walked her out of the building, and headed back into the AH Office. They all turned to stare at him when he walked in, including Lindsay and Ryan, who were there like he predicted.

“Meg and I are no longer a couple.” Gavin announced casually.

He sat down at his desk and switched on his computer, loading the editing software. Everyone was a little surprised – they had at least expected some sort of reaction, but there was nothing. Like it had never happened. That night, he slept better than he had in months.


	6. It Happens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been a month, and Gavin has been back to normal. Until he feels the tide pulling him out, the darkness swooping in, with no way out in a room full of his friends.

It had been over a month since that eventful two days when Geoff found out about Gavin’s condition, and Gavin split up with Meg. Gavin had only had one blackout since then, and he hadn’t told Geoff about it. He didn’t want to be a burden on him.

Things were getting busier and busier as the AH crew were heading into Christmas time, and the office was rather cold. As Gavin traipsed in, with a thick coat on and a scarf tied tightly around his neck, he realised that the office was not much warmer than outside, and that this was going to be a long day.

Geoff couldn’t believe the change in Gavin over the past few months. He had begun eating a lot more, though he never ate much to start with. The bags under his eyes were pretty much gone, which told Geoff that Gavin was sleeping much better. As far as Geoff knew, Gavin had not had any ‘Blackouts’ as Gavin had described them, but then again, Geoff doubted that if Gavin had one he would tell him, or anyone, actually.

The office was already noisy, Michael and Gavin were play-fighting in a corner, rolling around in the corner. Geoff had noticed the ‘tension’ between Michael and Gavin lately, especially since Gavin was doing a lot better. Ray had noticed it too – the pair would exchange looks during one of the lad’s moments. It was almost like sexual tension, but whenever he thought that, he just remembered that Michael was with Lindsay. 

He had originally lightened Gavin’s workload when he first found out, having researched the condition and found that stress did trigger flashbacks, as Gavin had mentioned. Now Gavin seemed to be back to normal, he found himself giving him more work, though he didn’t see Gavin struggling. Gavin had made sure that nobody, especially Geoff, saw him struggling. 

They then played a special Christmas edition of GTA V, where Gavin dressed as a reindeer, with Michael as Santa. The two were chasing each other, and Ray suddenly caused his character to start thrusting, moving around in a circle and announcing the arrival of the “fuck train”. Michael quickly pulled tear gas out and placed it behind Ray, so that the train had smoke coming out of it. However, Gavin didn’t realise what the tear gas would do, and the next minute, he was dead.

“Wait – what just happened, why am I dead?” Gavin asked, his voice showing confusion.

“You stood in the way of tear gas, you fucking idiot.” Michael said, shaking his head at the Brit. “Of course you’re going to fucking die, fucking numbnuts.”

“Michael,” Gavin said, pretending to be hurt. “You’re scaring me, Michael.” 

“Oh, fuck you.” Michael said, laughing anyway.

Ray and Geoff exchanged looks again. Once the Let’s Play was finished, they broke up for lunch. Gavin stayed back, saying that he wasn’t hungry, and set to work on the immense amount of videos he had to edit. He worked straight through the rest of the afternoon, until about four O’clock. He felt a little strange, slightly dizzy even. He knew that he shouldn’t ignore it, but he was so close to finishing the video, he could hold on for a little bit. 

He knew he didn’t have long, and besides, Jack was blocking the doorway. He quickly whipped out his phone, and seconds later, the darkness overwhelmed him, the pull becoming too strong. 

Geoff’s phone buzzed, and he looked at it, realising that he had a text from Gavin. He wondered why Gavin would text him when he was in the same room, until he read it. It simply said a few words… ‘blackout get them out’. Geoff had never witnessed one of his ‘blackouts’, but if Gavin had instructed to get the others out, then he knew he didn’t have much choice.

He jumped up into action, yelling at them to all get out of the room. They all looked confused, and when Geoff yelled it a second time, they could see it was serious. As Jack was leaving the room, with only Ryan left, Geoff called out “Ryan, stay.” Ryan stayed put, though the sight of Gavin, who had started to thrash around like he was having a seizure, was enough to make him feel sick. 

“Clear the sofa, let him lie down. It’ll be easier to restrain him.” Geoff ordered.

Ryan didn’t even nod, he just cleared the sofa. Geoff lifted the lad up with ease and laid him down on the sofa, which wasn’t an easy task with the rate the Brit was thrashing around at. He let out a scream of terror, and both Ryan and Geoff looked horrified. 

“Get rid of the guys. Tell them to go anywhere away from here. Send them over to Lindsay.” Geoff ordered.

Ryan again completed the instruction without question, and as he left the room, saw that Ray, Michael and Jack had all heard the scream, and witnessed Gavin beginning to thrash. 

“I don’t know what’s going on, but Geoff doesn’t want you to see it.” Ryan stated.

They all listened to him, especially the younger ones. His voice may have been calm, but the panic in his eyes showed otherwise. They quickly emptied that half of the building, with people trusting that if it was Geoff’s orders, then it was important.

Back in the office, Geoff couldn’t help but be horrified by what he saw. Gavin let out the occasional scream, which ripped through Geoff, but the young lad’s face showed pure terror. Gavin was still thrashing around, his eyes wide open, glassed over. He had been in this for five minutes, which was a little longer than people were usually in them for, or so Geoff had read. At the six minute mark, Gavin stopped thrashing. 

Ryan had since returned to the room, giving a silent nod to Geoff, telling him that that half of the building had been cleared. Geoff, refusing to leave Gavin’s side, told Ryan to close the curtains and block all sources of sound. The video that Gavin had been editing was still playing, and Ryan clicked pause. Geoff kneeled down by Gavin, and grasped his hand. Gavin was awake, his eyes were blinking, but as Geoff touched him, he jerked away, seemingly terrified of him. 

“I’m sorry,” Gavin cried. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it, I’m sorry,”

Gavin was still delusional, so the two boys couldn’t be certain whether Gavin was apologising to them or still in his flashback. He eventually stopped jerking around and his breathing became slightly less laboured.

He slowly but surely came back to reality, with his bright green eyes focusing of Geoff, who was kneeling next to him. He gave Geoff such an apologetic look that Geoff reached out for his hand once more, and this time, Gavin didn’t pull away. 

Slowly, over the course of ten minutes or so, Gavin recovered. His breathing slowed down to an almost normal rate, and with the help of a blanket, provided by Ryan, the Brit had stopped shivering. However, a worse feeling embedded itself in his gut – shame. He was ashamed of what Ryan and Geoff had just seen. He was ashamed of what he had no control over, of how he acted when the tide pulled him out. He was ashamed that months of hard work covering it up from his friends had been blown. 

They sat in silence until the twenty minute mark since Gavin had started his Blackout, when he took another sip of water (provided by Ryan) and spoke. 

“I’m sorry.” He said simply, though his words were laced with hurt and guilt. “I’m sorry you had to see that.” 

“Gavin-“ Geoff started, but the young lad cut him off.

“I understand if you don’t want me around anymore. I won’t blame you. I – I can’t put you in danger.” Gavin said, his voice little more than a whisper. 

“Gavin, stop being an asshole.” Geoff said.

“I – um – I” Gavin stuttered, unable to process what Geoff had said. 

“You fucking freaked me out then, you freaked all of us out, but you don’t have to go anywhere.” Geoff said, shaking his head at the confused lad.

“They all saw. I didn’t want them to. I didn’t want them to see me like that.” Gavin said, sounding so defeated than Ryan actually felt heartbroken for the guy. 

“They didn’t see much.” Ryan said, trying to make Gavin feel better. “They saw you start to thrash, and I got them out.” 

“You saw.” Gavin muttered, pulling himself into a tight ball. 

“Gavin, I’m not the most sane guy around. Do you really think I’m going to hate you or something because of this?”


	7. Gavin's Reaction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gavin decided that he can't face his friends yet, and goes to see Burnie. Geoff flips out.

Gavin sat in a quiet room they had found for him for an hour, calming himself down enough to go back and face the other guys. He had recovered from the Blackout – he was extremely tired, but that wasn’t what was bothering him. He felt like he had let the other guys down. They were relying on him to be normal, to not have any massive problems, and he had let them down. He’d managed to convince himself that his closest friends hated him, that Geoff and Ryan were acting earlier, that they didn’t want to see him really. 

He left the room, heading up to Burnie’s office. As far as he knew, Burnie had no idea what had happened. He knocked on the door, and when he was told to come in, did just that. He was told to sit, and did so, choosing the seat opposite Burnie. 

“What can I do for you, Gavin?” Burnie asked.

“I need some time off.” Gavin started.

“When?” Burnie asked. 

It was unusual that the Brit ever asked for time off, and he had almost all of his holidays left. When he had days off, it was for something important. He wasn’t one for sick leave. 

“Now.”

“What’s happened, Gavin?” Burnie asked, narrowing his eyes at the young lad.

“I need to go back to England for a few days.” Gavin said. 

“You’re not going to tell me what this is about, are you?” Burnie asked, and when Gavin didn’t respond, just shook his head at the lad fondly. “How many days?”

“5?” Gavin suggested, and Burnie thought for a moment, before nodding.

“I can see that you need this. I can also see that they don’t know you’re doing this. For God’s sake, Gavin, just tell Geoff. Don’t go without telling him, or he’ll have my head. He’ll   
probably have my head anyway for giving you the time off.”

“Thank you,” Gavin said, forcing a smile.

Elsewhere, Geoff was having a hard time containing his friends, who were all worried sick about Gavin. They weren’t the only ones. Geoff resolved to go and check on Gavin. When he got to the room where Gavin was supposed to be, he found it empty.

“Fuck! Ryan!” Geoff called, and Ryan came running out of the office, jogging over to Geoff. “He’s gone.” 

“Jesus Christ.” Ryan muttered. “I knew one of us should have stayed with him.” 

“Yeah, well, we were too busy dealing with the three men in there who just watched their friend break down out of the blue.” Geoff replied, becoming even more irate.

Ryan jogged down the corridor, and spotted Lindsay. “Have you seen Gav?” He asked, and she nodded.

“I saw him in Burnie’s office. He’ll probably be back soon.” Lindsay answered. “Is he… okay?” 

“I don’t know.” Ryan answered honestly. “Thanks.” 

Ryan had jogged back over to Geoff, who was pacing up and down, looking on edge. Which he probably was.

“Lindsay saw him in Burnie’s office. She said she thinks he’ll be back soon.” Ryan told Geoff.

He was expecting Geoff to breathe a sigh of relief, but it never came. Geoff swore very loudly, punching the wall nearest to him. Ryan had never seen the man looked so worked up, and pulled him away from the wall, bringing him back into the office. Ray, Jack and Michael had heard the bang, and when Geoff came back clutching his fist with bloody knuckles, knew that whatever was happening, it was not good. 

“He’s here.” Ryan whispered to Geoff.

When Geoff turned around, sure enough, was the British idiot he was annoyed at. His eyes were bloodshot, and he looked rough. Very rough. As he walked towards the office, the other boys stood up, eager to see if their friend was alright, but they didn’t have the chance. Geoff broke free from Ryan’s hold and charged towards Gavin, his temper flaring up.

“YOU BASTARD. YOU FUCKING BASTARD. YOU’RE GOING BACK, AREN’T YOU?” Geoff roared, and Gavin said nothing, whimpering as Geoff pinned him up against the wall. 

“Geoff! Let go of him!” Jack yelled, running towards them, but Ryan had beat him to it, pulling Geoff away from Gavin. He didn’t need to be restrained any more – his eyes showed guilt at how he had reacted to Gavin, but he was still incredibly angry at the lad.

“Why are you running, Gavin?” Geoff asked, sounding desperate.

“I have to, Geoff.” Gavin said quietly. “I can’t – I can’t stay here, not right now.”

“You’re such an asshole, a fucking asshole, Gavin! Those boys are worried sick about you, and you’re fucking leaving for England?” Geoff shouted.

“I’m coming back, Geoff. It’s just a few days. I just need a break.” Gavin said.

Geoff opened his mouth, and closed it again, not knowing what to say. He pushed past two of the boys, all of which had crowded around the scene. Gavin couldn’t stand his closest friends staring at him, some with pity, other with confusion. He couldn’t take it. 

“I’m sorry.” Gavin said quietly. “I’m sorry you had to see some of that. I’m sorry I’m such a fuck-up. I-I don’t know if I’ll be back.”

Ray looked pale, and was frozen, as if he was paralyzed from what he had just seen. It was, however, Michael who made a move. He took a step towards Gavin. 

“Don’t go.” Michael pleaded, his voice unusually soft yet shaky. “Please, Gavin, don’t leave us, don’t leave me.” 

Gavin felt tears well up in his eyes, and knew that the boys had all seen his heartbroken face. He couldn’t bear to know that they had seen him have a complete breakdown. Gavin fled the scene, catching the bus back to the Ramseys home. He came face to face with Griffon as he entered the lounge.

“Gavin, what’s happened?” Griffon asked, seeing his devastated face.

“It happened. In front of all of them.” Gavin muttered, his guilt and hurt evident in his voice. “It was bad. A bad one. I’ve got to go, get out.”

“Whoa, whoa, where are you going?” Griffon asked, trying to calm the Brit.

“Back home. I’ve managed to book a seat on a flight leaving in a few hours. Dan says I can stay with him until I get my head straight.” Gavin replied.

“Are you sure? Does Geoff know?” Griffon questioned.

“Of course he knows. Apparently I’m a fucking asshole and a bastard.” Gavin replied.

“He’s angry, Gavin. He doesn’t want you to go where he can’t keep an eye on you, especially right after a Blackout.” Griffon explained. 

“I don’t want to be a burden on anyone.” Gavin said quietly, so quietly in fact that Griffon only just heard it.

“Gavin, you can’t-“

It was too late. Gavin had headed up to pack his suitcase, and within an hour, he was sitting in the airport with a cheap cup of coffee, feeling nothing but shame and guilt.


	8. Post-Explosion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Geoff tears Burnie's head off, as predicted. Ryan tries to calm the remaining AH lads down. Gavin and Dan have some revelations for each other.

Geoff had disappeared the moment that Gavin had left, too upset and angry to lead his achievement hunters properly. Nobody questioned him. However, it left the remaining four men in confusion.

“Ryan.” Michael said, catching the older man’s attention. “What’s wrong with Gavin.”

“You know as much as me, Michael.” Ryan replied. 

“I’ve texted him five times. He’s not replying.” Ray muttered. 

“He’ll be on the plane, Ray.” Jack answered helpfully. “He’ll probably text you back when he lands.”

“I don’t know why he left.” Michael announced. 

“He’s embarrassed. Ashamed.” Ryan announced. “It’s – you didn’t see it. Not properly. He probably thinks that you saw a lot more than what you did.”

“Why did Geoff want us out?” Ray asked.

“Look, guys, I know about as much as you with regards to what’s happening with Gavin. Geoff knows, but he’s gone home, and I doubt he’ll tell you anyway. You saw how mortified Gavin was that any of you saw it. Geoff may be angry, but he’ll keep his word.” 

With that, they boys fell into a silence. They all missed their boss and the bubbly, British voice that was usually bouncing around the office. Gavin had only worked there for about a year, but it was hard to imagine Gavin not working there anymore. Elsewhere, Geoff had not actually gone home. The boys just assumed that he had. He was in fact in Burnie’s office, yelling very loudly at him.

“Why the fuck would you think it was a good idea to give him time off? He was obviously bloody upset!” Geoff roared.

“Look, he clearly needed it. He was getting better, looking more healthy. He said he had to go back to England for a few days.” Burnie tried to reason. 

“He just had a blackout, Burnie.” Geoff snapped. “A bad one. In front of the guys.”

“Jesus Christ.” Burnie muttered.

He knew that Gavin had this condition, of course. When Geoff found out, he was obliged as a boss to tell Burnie. Burnie had never mentioned that he knew, and as Gavin was getting much better, he just assumed that they had stopped happening. 

“Yeah. We managed to get most of the guys left, Ryan and myself took care of him. The asshole left because he was too ashamed.” Geoff explained, some of the anger fading.

“How much did the boys see?” Burnie asked quietly, knowing just how much Gavin wanted to keep his condition a secret.

“They saw him start to thrash, and heard him scream. It was the first I ever saw. It was – it was horrific.” Geoff said, his voice trailing off.

“I can’t believe he deals with them on his own.” Burnie stated. 

“He thinks we’re going to abandon him.” Geoff explained. “That we’ll think he’s some sort of freak. He thought that I was going to kick him out, and tell everyone.”

“He’ll be in touch, Geoff. You both just need to calm down.” Burnie said calmly. 

At that moment, Geoff’s phone buzzed. He picked it up, and saw that Griffon had texted him. He opened the message. Gavin came here, got his stuff. He was upset. We need to talk. Geoff sighed. 

“Griffon?” Burnie asked, and Geoff nodded. “Go home. Talk. Calm down, and ring Gavin. He’ll be the one who’s most upset, and right now he’s alone.” 

When Geoff got home, Griffon was waiting for him in the lounge. He sat down next to her, and took his hand in hers. She squeezed it reassuringly.

“You were angry.” Griffon stated, and Geoff nodded. “He needed to get away. He was mortified. Was the blackout bad?”

“It was the first one I ever saw.” Geoff admitted. “But it was a lot worse than Gavin described. It was a bad one, I think. I just – he’d been doing so well, I don’t understand what happened.”

“I don’t think Gavin has been as well as he’s leading everyone to believe.” Griffon stated, her voice soft. “I think he thinks he’s a problem.”

“Griffon, what do you know?” Geoff questioned. 

“When he came home to get his stuff, our conversation was finishing when he just said ‘I don’t want to be a burden on anyone.” Griffon explained.

Geoff was dumbfounded. How could this sweet, innocent lad think that he was a burden on anyone, let alone the Ramseys. He was a member of the family. He was like Geoff’s son, and Gavin could never be a burden to him. 

“Jesus H. Christ.” Geoff muttered, putting his head in his hands. 

“Look, go to bed. You look exhausted.” Griffon said. “Call him tomorrow.”

“I-“

“I wasn’t asking you, I was telling you.” Griffon said firmly.

Elsewhere, Gavin had just collected his luggage, after landing at Heathrow Airport in London. He headed out of the Arrivals lounge, planning to see if he could call a taxi. Instead, he found Dan waiting for him with all of the other people. He couldn’t help but let out a grin at the sight of his friend, and he ran towards him. They exchanged a quick hug, and headed out to Dan’s car.

“You look like shit.” Dan chuckled.

“Gee thanks, you minge.” Gavin replied.

“Was it bad?” Dan asked, and Gavin nodded. “Come on, you can stay in the spare room.”

Gavin grinned and fastened his seatbelt. They travelled the short journey to Dan’s apartment, which was a modern two-bedroomed one. They entered the room, and collapsed onto the sofa. Dan eventually got up and grabbed two bottles of fruit cider for the lads. He knew that it was Gavin’s cider, but it was rare in America.

“Ah,” Gavin grinned, as he took a swig of his favourite alcoholic drink. “It’s nice to be back in England.”

“Well, you’re not staying.” Dan said, shaking his head. “You know you’re welcome to visit any time, but you belong in Austin, Gav.”

“I don’t know if I can face them.” Gavin said.

“They won’t hate you.” Dan said.

“Geoff does. He went mental when he found out that I was coming here.”

“That’s because he’d just witnessed you have a bad blackout and then found out that you were going where he wouldn’t be able to look after you.” Dan said. “He’s right.”

“What the hell, Dan?” Gavin said.

“Turn on your phone.” Dan stated.

Gavin pulled it out of his pocket, and turned it on. After a few seconds of switching on, text messages started to come in. Messages from Ray, Michael, Jack, Ryan, even Lindsay. He read through them. Michael’s messages made his heart flutter.

Gavin, please come back.  
Team Nice Dynamite is only half complete.  
I’m sorry I get mad at you.  
You’ve got nothing to be ashamed about.  
Please come back soon, man. Skype us.

Dan noticed Gavin smiling as he read through the text messages, and when Dan asked who they were from, he noticed a blush spread across Gavin’s face. He caught a glance of Gavin’s screen, as saw Michael’s name. 

“Anything you want to tell me, Gav?” Dan asked, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. 

“Um, no.” Gavin said, his voice shaky. “I mean, uh-“

“Gavin, relax. I know you’re gay.” Dan chuckled, deciding to put his friend out of his misery.

“You – ha – what?” Gavin said, looking surprised.

“I’ve known you for several years, Gavin. If I didn’t notice I’d be an idiot.” Dan said, smiling. 

“You – don’t care?” Gavin asked.

“Of course I don’t care! It’s none of my business whether you like males or females. Besides, you taking guys off the market gives me more chances with girls.” Dan said, winking at Gavin, who couldn’t help but laugh at the strangeness of the conversation. “Do any of the others know?”

Gavin’s face fell. “No” He replied.

“Not even Geoff?” Dan questioned, and Gavin shook his head. “Man, they’ll find out at some point.”

“They won’t.” Gavin shrugged.

“So you like Michael, huh?” Dan asked.

“I – uh –“ Gavin stuttered, turning pink, and Dan laughed once more.

“You really like Michael. I thought he was with that Lindsay chick?” Dan asked, and Gavin looked down at his shoes. “He is. Gav, I’m sorry dude.”

“It’s fine.” Gavin shrugged. “It’s my own fault. I can deal with it, I have done so far. That isn’t the problem right now.” 

“Skype them.” Dan suggested. “They need to know what’s going on with you after what they saw, but you can end it at any time if you get uncomfortable.” 

“That’s a… okay. I’ll do it later in the week.”


	9. The Skype Conversation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The guys back in America Skype Gavin, and they kiss and make up. Everything is going great, until Michael drops a bomshell.

Gavin was dismayed. He had finally worked up the courage to text Geoff, in which he apologised for leaving so suddenly, and he hadn’t even replied. Gavin wasn’t angry, he was just upset. He thought that Geoff hated him for leaving, for having the Blackout in front of anything, for being a burden in general. Gavin couldn’t help but think that maybe he shouldn’t go back to Austin. 

Gavin opened up his laptop, and began searching for University courses in London. He had never gone to University, as when he was nineteen, education was the last thing on his mind. He felt that now, when his job was very uncertain, that perhaps having a back-up plan wasn’t such a bad idea. After half an hour of searching for Filmography courses, he heard someone trying to Skype call him. When he opened the window, he saw that Geoff was attempting to Skype him. Hesitating for a moment, he accepted the call. 

Geoff clicked his name nervously. He had received Gavin’s text message, of course, but he felt like too much of an ass to reply. The boy thought he was being a burden on him, when in reality Geoff felt like an ass. He’d certainly acted like an ass. Jack, Ryan, Ray and Michael had been the ones to convince him to Skype Gavin. None of them had heard from their British friend since he left for England, and they were getting worried. They had sent him countless texts.

They all crowded around the large screen that Geoff had connected his computer to, eager to see if their friend would answer the call. After around thirty seconds of ringing, they saw that the call had been accepted. A few seconds later, their friend’s face appeared on the screen. 

Gavin couldn’t help but smile as he saw his five friends crowded around the camera, all of them beaming at the sight of him. They all looked slightly worried, but it was Geoff that surprised Gavin the most. He had clearly not shaven, and had a stubble beard. He had bags under his eyes, and had immense guilt on his face.

“Hi.” Gavin said.

“Hey, Gav!” The boys chimed. 

“I’m an ass, Gavin.” Geoff said suddenly. “A real fucking ass. I’m so sorry I lost my temper.”

“Its okay, Geoff.” Gavin said calmly. “I shouldn’t have left.” 

He looked at his friends, who all but Geoff were watching him expectantly. Gavin still had that pull bringing him to want to stay in England, but it was less obvious to him. Gavin knew that this was the time. 

“I know you all want to know what happened, what’s wrong with me.” Gavin started, his voice shaky.

“You don’t have to tell us if you don’t want to, Gavin.” Jack said calmly. 

“No. I – I owe it to you.” Gavin stated, and Geoff felt pride well up in him at how well Gavin was handling the situation, how strong he was being. “You started to witness something we call a Blackout. I have PTSD.” 

Some of the boys looked confused, but Ryan must have known what it was, because his face filled with worry, and he quickly explained to the others what it was. 

“Both of my parents died within a few weeks of each other, a week before I was due to come to Austin, actually.” Gavin said, not looking up to see the boys reactions. “When I’m under a lot of stress, it triggers flashbacks, and with other stuff combined, we call them ‘Blacouts’. I can get violent, it’s pretty terrifying, actually. I don’t know where I am or what I’m doing, I’m not a generally nice person to be around when they happen.” 

“Why didn’t you just tell us, Gav?” Michael asked, his voice sounding unusually soft.

“I couldn’t. You’d treat me differently, like I was some sort of kicked puppy. I’d had them at the office before, I just left and dealt with them.” Gavin said. “I never wanted any of you to find out. I really didn’t want any of you to have to witness them.”

They all fell silent for a minute, taking in the information they were being given. “Geoff?” Gavin said, and when he lifted his head, he saw that Geoff was watching him. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I put you and Ryan through it, that you had to see it. If it happens again and I can’t get away, just leave me. I don’t want to have to be a problem.” 

“Gavin, there is no fucking way that I am leaving you when you’re having a Blackout. You’re not a problem, you idiot. It’s something we can deal with.” Geoff said calmly.

“I was happy to help.” Ryan added. “We’re not mad at you, Gavin, or upset or anything.”

“He’s right, Gav, this doesn’t change anything.” Jack said.

“We’re still X-Ray and Vav, crime-fighting duo taking on the world.” Ray added, which made Gavin laugh. 

“Michael?” Gavin asked quietly, not hearing his friend/crush/god knows say anything. 

“I swear to God Gavin, if you have one of these again and don’t tell us, I will rip your head off.” Michael said quietly. “So hurry up and get your ass back to America, so we can be Team Nice Dynamite again.”

Gavin grinned at his response, and the tension out of the air seemed to go. It was just like any time Gavin went back to England once more. 

“So, what’s happened while I’ve been away?” Gavin asked, feeling much happier and lighter. 

“Well, Michael actually has some news, don’t you, Michael?” Jack said, putting his hand on Michael’s shoulder.

“Yeah, uh, I do.” Michael said, seeming to become nervous. “Lindsay and I have gotten engaged.”

Gavin felt his heart drop. No, no, Michael couldn’t be getting engaged. He couldn’t. He couldn’t do this to Gavin. Of course, Michael had no idea how Gavin felt about him, and thought that his best friend would be happy for him. Geoff watched the screen carefully as Gavin’s smile dropped. He saw the pain in his eyes, before a smile quickly appeared on Gavin’s face, though Geoff could tell that it was forced. It was a little too bright, not the usual lopsided grin Gavin had. 

“Congratulations, Michael.” Gavin said, his voice a little too enthusiastic. “When did that happen?”

“The night before you left.” Michael answered. “I was planning to tell you guys the next day, but we, er, had some complications.”

“Sorry about that.” Gavin chuckled. “Hey, guys, I’m meeting up with an old friend soon so I’ll speak to you later, okay?”

“When does your plane land?” Geoff asked.

“I’ll text you.” Gavin said quickly, before ending the call.

He then proceeded to run to the bathroom and throw up his breakfast into the toilet. Michael was getting married. It was all over. There was nothing he could do. Suddenly, the idea of moving back to England was suddenly a whole lot more appealing.


	10. Painful Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael and Gavin discuss Michael's Engagement, and Michael finds out something he really doesn't like.

Gavin had been having a lovely night last night, which was his first night back in America. Griffon had cooked a great meal, they were all full, and were now watching some tv show whilst having a few beers. It was peaceful, although Gavin knew he wouldn’t be feeling so happy when it came to going into work tomorrow, and facing all of his friends.  
His phone suddenly buzzed, and he pulled it out of his pocket. He saw that he had a text message from Michael, and for the first time, he didn’t know if he wanted to open it. 

I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about me and Lindsay sooner. Welcome back to America! See you tomorrow. –M

Gavin sighed as he read the text, and swore under his breath when he realised that he had captured the attention of Geoff and Griffon. He sent them an awkward smile.

“Everything alright, Gav?” Geoff asked.

“Fine, thanks, Geoff.” Gavin replied as calmly as he could. 

He didn’t message Michael back, and instead locked him phone, putting it down on the arm of the sofa. The Ramseys eventually took their eyes off Gavin, and they all settled down to continue watching the show. Gavin eventually retired for bed, though he didn’t sleep so well. He put it down to the jetlag.

When the duo strolled into the office the next morning, Geoff noticed how hesitant Gavin was to enter the building. 

“It’s okay, Gav.” Geoff said calmly. 

Gavin nodded, and forced himself to continue. Geoff was right. These people were his friends, and he could deal with Michael. He should have seen it coming, really. The pair had  
been together for a year, it was obvious that they would end up getting engaged soon enough. 

He entered the office to four smiling faces. They all greeted him in turn, and Gavin was relieved to see that they didn’t seem to be treating him any differently. He sat down at his desk, and loaded up his computer. He was glad to be back to normal.

The morning passed uneventfully, and Gavin was pleased to be busy once more. Geoff took great care to make sure that Gavin didn’t have too much work on. By lunch time, it was just Michael, Gavin and Jack left in the room. Geoff had a meeting, and Ryan had gone out for lunch. Jack received a text message, and said that he was going to meet Ryan for lunch. That left Gavin and Michael alone. Gavin finished editing his video, and took off his headphones. He turned around to find that Michael had been watching him.

“Hey, Micoo.” Gavin chuckled.

“Hey Gavvers.” Michael replied. “Have a good time in England?”

“Yeah, I did, actually. It was nice to go home for a bit.” Gavin said, and Michael picked up on the fact that Gavin had called England ‘home’. 

“How’s Dan?” Michael questioned.

“He’s great. Loves the portrait of him in Minecraft, by the way. Thought it was hilarious when I tried to burn it but couldn’t, cause it was raining.” Gavin said, and Michael laughed. 

“Serves you right for trying to burn Dan the Man.” Michael said.

“He does act as a good map.” Gavin shrugged. “So, you’re engaged.”

“Yup.” Michael replied. “I – er – wasn’t planning it. It just sort of happened when we were out for dinner.”

“Good for you. It’s nice to see you’re finally settling down.” Gavin said, plastering a fake smile on his face and hoping it looked real enough. 

“What about you, buddy? Find anyone new?” Michael asked, and Gavin just shrugged. “Aw, come on, don’t be so secretive.”

“Not anyone in particular.” Gavin said.

“Aw, dude, you need to find a girl to bring to the wedding!” Michael laughed, and Gavin felt uneasy. “Have you seen Meg lately?”

“Yeah, we had coffee about a week ago. I know what you’re thinking, Michael, I’m not getting back with Meg.”

That wasn’t what Michael was thinking. Michael was hoping that his fellow Lad was going to tell him that he was not actually going to bring a girl to the wedding, he was in fact going to bring a guy. Michael used to hope that Gavin was gay, that the Brit would realise the New Jersey Boy’s affection for him. It never happened, so he stayed with Lindsay, and bam, they were engaged. He thought that he was over Gavin. No, he was over Gavin! They were just friends, nothing more.

Now, looking at the man in front of him, whose green eyes were watching him with interest, Michael couldn’t help but wonder if he had made the right decision. Maybe he should have just told Gavin the truth. 

“Micoo? You still with me?” Gavin asked, waving his hand in front of Michael’s face.

“Huh? Yeah, I’m here. Quit waving your hand in front of my fucking face.” Michael snapped, and Gavin quickly retracted his hand. 

“Sorry.” He mumbled. “I’m gonna go and grab a drink.”

Michael felt bad for snapping at Gavin, but he didn’t apologise. Gavin quickly got out of his chair and left the room. Michael looked over to Gavin’s desk, and saw that he had left his phone unlocked and on his messages screen. The phone buzzed, making Michael jump. Feeling guilty even as he did it, he took the phone into his hands. Dan had texted Gavin. 

'You’ll get over that fucker, Gav. I know it’s hard, but you’ll meet someone else.'

Michael swallowed nervously, knowing that he had read something he shouldn’t. He quickly put the phone back in it’s place. Had Gavin broken up with someone? Michael didn’t even know Gavin had been interested in anyone. Michael couldn’t help but feel jealous of this person who had been able to enjoy a relationship with Gavin. He would never know that feeling.

He put on his headphones, ready to film his latest RageQuit, trying to block the thoughts he shouldn’t be having out of his head. He saw Gavin come in, check his phone, and frown. He looked over to Michael, who had his headphones on. Gavin thought that Michael could not hear him, and rang Dan. He didn’t know that Michael had muted the sound.

“Hey Dan.” Gavin said. “What? No, I’m fine. I haven’t had a Blackout. I can’t get over ‘that fucker’ as you so politely put it. I just can’t. Yeah.” Michael was trying to put a conversation together from what he could hear. “Michael’s engaged.” Pain flashed over Gavin’s face, and neither of the two said anything for a moment. “I’m okay, Dan, really. I – these things happen. I’ve been thinking. I might move back to London.” 

Michael felt sick. Gavin, leave? What was going through his head to make him think he wanted to go back to England? Gavin suddenly looked at Michael, who had been staring at him in shock. Gavin seemed to realise that he could be heard, and panic spread across his face.

“Shit.” He muttered.

He got up quickly, leaving the room, still on the phone. Michael was left feeling numb at the news. Gavin was thinking of leaving forever. He wasn’t happy at Michael getting engaged. He’d had his heart broken by someone. Michael couldn’t help but wonder if he should tell Geoff these things, knowing that his pseudo Father would want to know what’s going on. Michael decided against it for the time being. He had no idea what to say to Gavin when he came back.


	11. The Sexual Tension

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael and Gavin finally discuss Gavin's possible departure.

Michael and Gavin had not spoken about what Michael had heard, mainly because Gavin had been avoiding Michael like the Plague. Michael had heard a lot of what he shouldn’t – that Gavin was so upset about getting over someone that he was thinking of going back to England. 

Things had been awkward between the two boys since, the tension lasting almost two weeks so far. The other men had noticed, but if it was ever raised, it was brushed away with a too-fake smile from Gavin or a string of curses from Michael. 

Michael, however, was worried. He didn’t want Gavin to have a ‘blackout’, and although he knew that they weren’t triggered necessarily by being extremely upset, Michael still worried for his friend. What could be making Gavin so upset that he would want to leave Austin? Surely his life would be better staying in America? Michael was starting to think that Gavin had other reasons for going back to England when he did. 

Michael entered the AH Office after coming back from lunch, and saw Gavin hunched over the computer, his eyes fixated on the screen. Michael sat down and loaded up his own computer, and within minutes Gavin had left the room. The others returned, minus Gavin, and they set to work. 

“Michael?” Geoff said, catching the lad’s attention. “Gavin’s got a meeting with Burnie, and he’s got the RageQuit edit on his laptop. I think it’s still open, will you pull it up and  
email it to me, so I can check it?” 

Michael nodded, and wheeled his chair over to Gavin’s desk, which was next to his own. He wiggled the mouse, and the computer came to life. Michael was disturbed. Gavin had been browsing a webpage, which wasn’t that disturbing, but it was the webpage that he had been looking at. Gavin was viewing the website of a University in London, at a Cinematography course. Gavin was seriously thinking about moving back to London. 

He quickly minimized the website and found the RageQuit Geoff had requested, emailing it to Geoff quickly. He got up and left the room without a word, feeling a million thoughts swimming around in his head. Gavin and Michael had avoided each other for two weeks, and now he knew how serious Gavin was about moving back, he knew that he needed to reconcile with the Brit and get to the bottom of the situation.

Michael headed outside, deciding that he needed a breath of fresh air. He found Gavin out there, sitting alone, looking stressed. Gavin looked up, caught sight of Michael, and looked back down at the ground. Michael went and sat next to him on the wall. 

“We need to talk, buddy.” Michael stated, and Gavin nodded.

“You saw and heard it. You shouldn’t have.” Gavin said. “None of this, any of it, was meant to happen. My personal life – it was supposed to stay personal. I feel exposed.” 

“Is that why you’re moving back to England?” Michael asked.

Gavin shook his head. “I don’t know if I am. I’m just considering it.”

“Why?” Michael questioned. “You’re fine here. This is home. You’ve got your friends, a place to stay, a good job. You shouldn’t move because some asshole can’t realise what she’s  
missing.”

Gavin swallowed at the mention of a female, but nodded regardless. Michael had pretty much just called himself an asshole without even knowing it. 

“Gavin… don’t leave.” Michael said. “It won’t do any good. Besides, the fans would go crazy if you left. They love a good British idiot.” 

Gavin smiled slightly. “Look. I’m thinking about it, that’s all I’ll say. I’d appreciate it if you didn’t go and tell Geoff. I don’t need him guilting me into staying right now.”

Michael nodded. “Okay.” He agreed. “Am I… upsetting you, Gavin?”

Gavin froze. Could he really lie to his friend? Yes, Gavin couldn’t let Michael find out how he felt about him. It would be disastrous. 

“Why do you ask?” Gavin replied, avoiding the question. 

“I know I can be hard on you, with the constant teasing. I just didn’t want to really upset you.” 

“I can take a joke, Michael, it’s fine.” Gavin said. “Can we stop being so soppy now? We’re tippity top. Let’s get some work done before Ryan has a hissy fit.” 

The two lads laughed, and headed back to the AH Office. When they entered the AH guys saw the two lads laughing and joking, and a sense of relief washed through them. The fans were starting to sense that something was wrong, so Geoff in particular was pleased that the two lads had made up. 

“Come on, guys, we’ve got a Let’s Play to record.” Geoff said. 

The six men sat at their own desks, playing some strange shooting game that the fans had requested. As always, Gavin was the main target of killing, most likely because he went after others to annoy them. 

“God, Gavin, you’re so fucking dumb.” Michael laughed as Gavin tried to sneak up on him and blew himself up with his bomb. 

“You love me really, Micoooo.” Gavin giggled. 

“Whatever, Gavin.” Michael said, shaking his head. 

“I LOVE YOU MICHAEL! TEAM MAVIN FOREVER!” Gavin shouted loudly, making the others fall about in laughter. 

Michael felt butterflies in his stomach as Gavin said it, but he just muttered a string of curses, the other guys continuing to laugh. Gavin sent a small smile to Michael, who didn’t return it. If he did, he wouldn’t be able to stop. Gavin looked away, his face showing clear hurt. 

“Hey, dipshit.” Michael called, and Gavin turned to look at him. “Team Nice Dynamite rules on.”


	12. The Vengeful Mistletoe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gavin is upset by Michael and Lindsay, so Ray helps him get his own back.

Christmas is fast approaching, though it is only early December. Snow is falling heavily on the ground, and Gavin steps into the office, shaking his head, snow falling out of his brown mop. He untied his scarf and undid his coat, hanging them up on the hook that rests by the wall. 

He set to work editing the Christmas specials of the videos that had been recorded, ready for release, and never looked up again throughout the whole morning. Gavin’s life had been good for the past month or so. Michael and Gavin were getting on better than ever, and the fans were loving it. The Let’s Plays were fun and energetic, the lads were getting on well. Gavin’s thoughts of going back to England were still there, though they weren’t as strong. 

Gavin had declined a lunch invitation, stating that he wasn’t particularly hungry. He waited until everyone else had left the building, and then his work began. He pulled out the large box of Christmas Decorations that he had. He began putting them up, draping tinsel over the men’s desks, putting a sprig of mistletoe over the doorframe. He was putting the baubles on the small tree which sat on top of a desk in the corner when the men returned from their lunch. 

“Wow, Gav, you’ve been busy.” Jack chuckled. 

“Whoa, watch out.” Ryan said, pointing up to the mistletoe as they all stepped into the office.

“I wonder how many people are going to get caught out.” Ray wondered.

“It looks great, Gav.” Jack said, and they all agreed.

They all settled down to work once more, everyone busy with the workload they had. Gavin had just finished recording a Let’s Build with Geoff and had only just taken off their headphones when Lindsay tried to come into the office at the same time as Michael tried to leave it. Geoff started to laugh. 

“Looks like the mistletoe strikes for the first time.” Jack chuckled.

Michael’s eyes flickered over to Gavin, and then back to his fiancé, who was smiling. He leaned in and they kissed. Gavin’s heart shattered in two as he saw Michael and Lindsay kiss. He waited until they pulled apart, and Gavin got up, wordlessly excusing himself from the other’s company. He started to jog, quickly breaking out into a run. He eventually found himself in the bathroom, which was thankfully empty. 

Gavin wasn’t surprised to see tears falling down his cheeks. Michael was just breaking his heart again and again. He allowed himself to cry for a minute or two, before turning on the tap, and splashing his face with water in an attempt to bring himself back to reality. There was a knock on the bathroom door. 

“Gavin?” Geoff’s voice echoed out. 

When there was no reply, Geoff pushed open the door, and saw Gavin leaning over the sink, his face dripping with water. His eyes looked red, and he was shaking like a leaf, let alone how pale he was. 

“Are you okay, buddy?” Geoff asked quietly.

“I’m tippity top, Geoff, thanks.” Gavin replied, patting his face dry. “I felt a bit sick, so I went for some fresh air.”

“Don’t bullshit me Gavin.” Geoff said, his voice firmer than usual. 

“Leave it, Geoff.” Gavin snapped, his usually cheery demeanour dropping for a second. 

He pushed past Geoff and left the bathroom. He didn’t head back to the Office yet, instead walking straight past it and outside the building. He walked a few metres outside, and sat down on one of the walls, taking deep breaths of fresh air. 

When he checked his watch he discovered that it was nearly three O’clock. He had been gone for an hour. Gavin was preparing himself to go back when someone sat down on the bench next to him, and Gavin saw Ray. 

“Hey, Vav.” He said.

“Hey, X-Ray.” Gavin replied.

“Geoff seemed pretty upset. We saw you storm past the office a minute before he turned up. You two argue?” Ray asked, the concern evident in the Puertorican’s voice. 

“Not really.” Gavin shrugged. 

“You need to make him jealous.” Ray stated.

“Geoff?” Gavin questioned, frowning.

“No, you noob, Michael.” Ray chuckled.

“What – how did you know?”

“Gavin, I have eyes. Those guys are idiots if they can’t tell, which they can’t. Michael’s not going to start anything, and I won’t have you freaking moping around all the time. X-Ray  
and Vav is a full-time position.”

“So how do I make him jealous?” Gavin asked wearily.

“The mistletoe. Do to him what he did to you.” Ray said, like it was the most simple thing in the world.

“One problem, Ray. I don’t have anyone use the mistletoe with.” Gavin sighed.

“Get Barb, or even Kara.” Ray suggested, and when the hesitant look on Gavin’s face appeared, Ray finally understood. “I get it, you numpty. Use one of the guys then.” 

“Which one?” Gavin asked.

“For god’s sake, Gavin, does it matter? I’ll do it if it stops you moping around.” Ray said.

Gavin was silent for a moment, and then nodded. The pair formulated a plan, and headed inside. Ray entered the office, and a few minutes later, stated that he was going to go and get a drink. As he was passing through the doorway, he collided with Gavin. 

“MISTLETOE” Jack chuckled.

Out of the corner of his eye, Gavin saw Michael’s head snap up, as his eyes filled with curiosity as he saw Gavin and Ray under the mistletoe. The two lads looked at each other for a minute, before their lips joined. The kiss wasn’t just a quick peck, it lasted a good few seconds, and was certainly passionate. Gavin found himself enjoying the kiss, and was mildly sad when it ended.

The others were wolf whistling, apart from Michael. He gave the two a sour look, and pulled his headphones on, his heart aching at the sight of Gavin kissing Ray. It wasn’t a quick kiss – that was for sure – it was passionate. Michael felt enraged at the thought of Gavin and Ray in a relationship. He couldn’t shake the thoughts from his head as much as he tried.


	13. Christmas Eve Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Geoff is holding a Christmas Eve Party, and Mr Booze gives Michael and Gavin an unexpected opportunity.

It was Christmas Eve, and although the lads had finished work two days ago, everyone was gathering tonight for a Christmas Eve party. Gavin had just showered and changed into some jeans and a nice shirt. 

Michael sat with Geoff and Ray downstairs, all of them chatting causally. Lindsay had gone to see her Mother for the night, so Michael was partying solo tonight. He saw Gavin come down the stairs, and the Brit plopped himself in between Michael and Geoff. As Geoff was in deep conversation with Griffon and Ray, Gavin turned to Michael.

“Hey, Micoooo.” Gavin said, sending him one of those lopsided grins. 

“Hey, boy.” Michael replied, smiling slightly at Gavin. “How you been? Spending Christmas in America, I take it?”

Gavin ignored the message that Michael was sending him; the conversation of Gavin going back to England was not over. “Not here.” He whispered, and then raised his voice again. 

“Yeah, flights would be manic anyway.”

“I bet they would.” Michael said.

“Are you cooking Christmas Dinner, Michael?” Gavin asked, a smirk on his face.

“Am I fuck!” He laughed.

The tension between them had once again disappeared, and they began to chat causally once more, both of them enjoying themselves. Griffon had left to get more drinks, and Ray raised an eyebrow at Geoff, indicating to the two chatting men next to them.

“What’s going on with them?” Geoff asked, and Ray shrugged.

“One minute they’re friends, the next they’re yelling at each other.” Ray stated.

“Ray… there’s not anything going on between them, is there?” Geoff asked, narrowing his eyes at Ray.

“I don’t know. Look man, I think you really need to have this conversation with Gavin.” Ray said, holding his hands up in defeat. “He’s the one who knows what’s going on.” 

“Not now, he’s happy. It’s nice to see him happy.” Geoff said.

“He hasn’t had any more… blackouts, has he?” Ray asked.

“Not that I know of.” Geoff replied.

They ended their conversation as Michael got up, followed by Gavin, and they both headed into the now empty kitchen to get drinks. As Gavin bent down to get two beers out of the beer fridge, Michael, who’s judgement was clouded by the amount of alcohol he had consumed, felt an overwhelming rush of affection for the lad as he handed him a beer. 

The two men locked eyes for a minute, both of them putting their beers down on the counter. Gavin suddenly pressed his lips to Michael’s. He pulled away after a few seconds, when Michael hadn’t responded. When Gavin looked up at Michael, he saw the shock written all over his friend’s face. Gavin instantly felt guilty, knowing that he had done something he shouldn’t. 

Gavin opened his mouth to apologise, but couldn’t, as Michael pushed him up against the nearby wall, kissing Gavin first this time. The two men stood like that for a few minutes, not realising what they were doing, and not really caring either. All they knew was that it felt amazing. 

They heard footsteps and broke apart, both trying to catch their breath. Michael took a step back from Gavin, just in time, as Jack and Ryan walked into the room. Jack looked at the two men with an eyebrow raised.

“Everything alright?” Jack asked.

“Michael’s being an ass.” Gavin said confidently. “I was moaning about there being no fruit ciders in America, and Michael was calling it a sissy drink.”

“You two will never grow up, I swear.” Jack chuckled.

Jack left the kitchen, and the two lads breathed a sigh of relief. Gavin gave Michael one last kiss, whispering “Merry Christmas”, before taking his beer from the counter and leaving the kitchen. 

It would not be till the early hours of Christmas morning when the two lads realised just what they had done.


	14. Gavin's Cold Conscience

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gavin and Michael finally come face-to-face after Geoff's party.

It was the 3rd of January, and the second day back at Achievement Hunter. Everyone had been welcomed back with open arms, except from one person. Gavin Free. When Monday morning arrived, Gavin was ‘ill’. Geoff knew that the boy wasn’t hungover, but had begun to worry about him again. 

The boy wasn’t sleeping, Geoff knew, and had caught him in the aftermath of a Blackout a few days prior. He had not been screaming, but had been thrashing around. Gavin had managed to escape to the bathroom, hoping that Geoff would not notice his abrupt exit: he had not been so lucky.

Gavin had accepted no help or comfort when Geoff had walked in on Gavin coming back to reality, and instead, Gavin had seemed cold. Geoff had tried to touch the Brit, and Gavin had jumped a mile away from him. Geoff didn’t know what had caused Gavin to be so upset and stressed, but he had a strange feeling that it had a lot to do with a certain Michael Jones.

On the first day back at work, Michael had come into the office looking awful; Geoff thought he looked remarkably like Gavin did right now. Michael scanned the office, until his eyes landed on Gavin’s empty chair. His face showed momentary relief, but he quickly masked it. 

“Where’s Gavin?” Michael asked.

“He’s sick. Taken the day off.” Geoff answered calmly.

“Oh, right.” Michael replied. 

Michael was strangely quiet that day. He knew that Gavin was not sick: Gavin was never sick. Gavin was avoiding coming in to face Michael: Michael had considered doing exactly the same thing. However, he didn’t want Lindsay to think something was up.

Memories of Geoff’s Christmas Eve party swirled around in his head. Him and Gavin laughing and joking. Going into the kitchen. Gavin kissing him. Was Gavin gay? Bisexual? Or was it just a drunken act? Why did Michael go and kiss him back. Michael had tried to forget the fact that it was not just one kiss, that he had in fact started the second one.  
Geoff’s phone buzzed, and he saw that he had received a text from Gavin. Fearing the worst, he quickly opened it to feel immense relief.

'Can I come in? I need to sort some things out. -Gav'

Geoff text back a quick yes, and was relieved once more. Maybe Gavin and Michael could sort things out once and for all. Geoff really needed to have some sort of talk with Gavin soon, and find out what the hell was making the boy so stressed.

Gavin arrived twenty minutes later, looking about as good as Michael was. Ray looked up as Gavin entered the building, and smiled at his friend. Gavin greeted his friends, and sat down at his desk. About thirty minutes later, Gavin removed his headphones, having finished editing the latest Slo Mo Guys video. He stood up, stating that he was going to go and get a drink. Michael saw his opportunity and followed the Brit out, ignoring the fact that he was being watched by the four other Achievement Hunters. He followed Gavin to the kitchen, and then made himself known to him. Gavin turned around, and his eyes caught Michaels.

“You never returned any of my texts.” Gavin stated, his voice surprisingly calm as he pulled a bottle of water out of the fridge. 

“I didn't know what to say.” Michael replied.

“What is it you want to say, Michael? Whatever you want to do, we can do. You want to forget it ever happened? Or do you want to grow a pair and accept it happened?”

“Why did it happen?” Michael asked. “You kissed me.”

It was Gavin’s turn to look at the floor. “I was drunk. I was upset. I don’t want to go into details, Michael. Why did you kiss me after?” 

Michael avoided the Brit’s eyes. “It felt like the right thing to do. I mean, I was drunk.” 

“That settles it then. It was a drunken mistake. Is that the story you’re going for?” Gavin asked, and Michael couldn't help but notice how icy Gavin’s tone was. He had never heard the Brit use that tone for anything. 

“Gavin, answer me one question.” Michael pleaded, and Gavin looked at him. “Are you gay?”

Gavin felt sick, but forced himself to remain his calm, cold expression. Gavin wasn't going to show Michael just how much he was breaking his heart. He certainly wasn't going to put any trust into Gavin. 

“My sexual orientation is none of your concern.” He replied.

“Please, Gav.” Michael whispered. “I wish this had never happened.”

“Do you really? Drink helps, but it isn’t the only cause. You still have your own mind. Come find me when you've grown up a bit, and stop playing bloody pretend.” Gavin snapped.

With that, he took his bottle of water in hand and left the room. As Gavin walked into the AH Office, Geoff could see how angry the boy was. He was visibly shaking, the water in the bottle he was holding jolting around in its container. Geoff left it for a minute, and then sent Gavin a text, not wanting to pull him up in front of anyone. Gavin felt his phone vibrate, and pulled it out, to see that he had a text from Geoff. He read through it. 

'Calm down. You don’t want it to happen. We’ll talk later. -Geoff'

Gavin knew that Geoff was sending him a warning: he needed to calm, or else he could trigger a Blackout. He nodded at Geoff, and loaded up his XBOX, entering their Minecraft world. Gavin began work on repairing the damage their last Let’s Play had done, successfully keeping his mind from Michael. That is, until Michael returned to the office. He sat down in the desk next to Gavin’s, trying his best to avoid any conflict.

Everyone was eager to leave at the end of the day, Gavin first and foremost dodging out of the office. Everyone else slowly trickled out, and Ray finally left, leaving Geoff and Michael in the room. As Michael was packing his back, Geoff called him back. 

“Michael, a word?” Geoff called.

Michael nodded, looking up at Geoff with fear in his eyes. “Sure, Geoff.”

“Look, your personal life is of none of my concern. I just ask that you keep it out of the videos. If the fans catch on that anything is happening, there’ll be a shitstorm, and we really don’t need that.” Geoff said. “And sort yourself out. You look like shit.”

“Gee, thanks.” Michael said, and realised that he had picked up that phrase from Gavin, who used it all the time. “Okay, Geoff. I’ll sort it out.” 

“Goodnight, Michael.” Geoff said, and Michael took the hint, picking up his bag and leaving.

He knew that as a Boss, Geoff had done the right thing. However, it was hard for him not to yell at the boy, scream that he didn’t know what he was doing, that whatever was going on between Michael and his pseudo-son really wasn’t helping the lad’s health. However, that would be a large step over the unprofessional line. Besides, Gavin wouldn’t be very impressed with him if he had done that. Geoff resolved to speak with the boy that night and find out what was going on.


	15. The Twitter Scandal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Geoff and Gavin's chat is not needed when a social media crisis arises.

The drive home was uncomfortably silent. Both Gavin and Geoff knew that there was a serious talk coming up between the two of them, but neither of them wanted to start it. It turned out they didn’t need to. Waiting in the kitchen when they got home was Griffon, her tablet in her hand. Geoff kissed her hello, and the three sat down at the table. 

“Have any of you checked social media lately?” Griffon asked. “You know, within the last hour?”

“No.” Gavin said, and Geoff mimicked him. “Why? Some big scandal? Ooh, I wonder who’s wrapped up in it.”

Griffon tapped the screen a few times, and then handed the tablet to Gavin. He took the tablet into his hands, looking down at what seemed to be so important. On the screen was a picture of Gavin Free, his lips locked with an unidentified man. Gavin took a deep breath, and hung his head, wishing that the earth would swallow him up. Geoff took the tablet from Gavin’s hands, and looked at the image. Surprise was evident on his face, as well as anger. Gavin found himself becoming angry also.

“Geoff, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.” Gavin said quickly.

“Gavin, I don’t care about that. It’s none of my business. I care about the fact that some fucker has sold you out. Do you know who this is?”

“Of course I know who it is?” Gavin said defensively, thinking that Geoff was calling him some sort of man-whore. When he realised that Geoff was just being curious, he answered.  
“His name is Liam. We were in a relationship for a few months. It ended when I got your job offer. Apparently I wasn’t satisfying enough.”

Gavin blushed, and in other circumstances Geoff would have laughed, but he was too angry. “Do you have any idea why he’d do this?”

“We didn’t end on the best of terms.” Gavin shrugged. “It was pretty messy, actually.”

“No, it’s not enough.” Geoff said, shaking his head.

“God, you two are oblivious. He’s jealous. Gavin’s doing well, he’s got thousands of followers and they all adore him. He wants to ruin his reputation in America.” Griffon said,  
shaking her head at the pair.

“Griffon, how viral has this gone?” Geoff asked.

“Extremely. There’s currently over a million tweets about, using the hashtag #gaygavin, and it’s only been out for an hour.”

“We need to get Will and his team together now.” Geoff said. “Sort this out before it gets out of hand.”

“It’s a little late for that, don’t you think?” Gavin said, gesturing to the hundreds of tweets flooding through every second.

“Gav, I’m sorry.” Griffon said softly. “I know you didn’t want everyone to find out that way.”

“Jack, Ryan, Michael… I didn’t want them to find out this way. I didn’t want you to find out this way, Geoff.” Gavin mumbled. “It seems like whatever I do or say, I’m in the spotlight. I have no secrets anymore.”

The three fell into a relative silence, with the only sound being Geoff tapping away on his phone, and within five minutes, he seemed to have had a breakthrough.

“We have an emergency media crisis meeting in fifteen minutes.” Geoff announced.

“Who’ll be there? Does this happen often?” Gavin asked, obviously becoming panicked.

“It’s happened a few times, not on this topic and this scale, but we should be able to deal with it Gavin. Don’t worry, but we need to go now.” Geoff said. “I’ll bring something home for supper.”

“I’m sorry.” Gavin apologised to the pair.

“Sweetie, it’s not your fault you have an ass for an ex-boyfriend.” Griffon said, smiling at Gavin.

The two men arrived at the Rooster Teeth building within ten minutes, and when they got there, found that they had a large mug of coffee waiting for each of them. 

“It’s going to be a long night. They’re used to it with me.” Geoff shrugged.

Gavin nodded, feeling extremely guilty. He had once again caused people’s lives to go to chaos, when they should be relaxing at home with their families. He stepped into the large conference room, which had at least twenty people in it, all of them busy. 

Gavin recognised a few. Barbara was sitting across the table from him, and Gavin had predicted that she would be there, as she was in charge of every day social media. Geoff pointed out Will, whom he had specifically contacted. Apparently, Will took charge of serious social media issues, whereas Barbara did normal things. It was the next few people to trickle in that made Gavin feel nervous.

Jack, Ryan, Michael, Ray, Caleb, Kerry and Lindsay entered one by one, some of them in pairs, others coming in a few minutes apart. They all sat down at various points in the table. Gavin couldn’t look up from the floor to face them. 

“Why are they here?” Gavin whispered to Geoff, his voice shaking.

“They have the most followers on twitter. If anyone can put this situation in a positive light, they’re the ones to do it.” Geoff explained.

Geoff hadn’t told the Brit that his friends would be here: he knew that he would have straight up refused to come if he had known. Now that Gavin was here though, there was no escape. The meeting soon began.

“As you’ll all be aware now, Gavin here has attracted some slight media attention.” Burnie stated, and someone snorted, though Gavin had been looking at the floor too long to know who it was. “I’m gonna pass over to Barbara and Will, as they know what the hell to do.”

Barbara stood up, and Geoff nudged Gavin in the ribs, forcing him to look up. He found Barbara’s eyes on him, along with about 60% of the others. Everyone else was focusing on Barbara.

“Obviously, this isn’t Gavin’s fault, but we have a problem. What’s been revealed isn’t at all a problem, actually.” Barb announced, her voice slightly softer than usual. “The problem is, we don’t know what this guy wants, or how much he knows. That’s where we need your help in dealing with this, Gavin.”

Gavin nodded, finding his throat too dry to speak. He pulled out a bottle of water from his bag, and took several large gulps. Barbara waited for the media team to pull out all of their gadgets to make notes and plans and whatever they were going to do to fix this mess. 

“Gavin, we need to know what this guy has got on you.” Barbara stated.

“Like what?” Gavin questioned.

“Sex tapes? Nudes?” Barbara suggested.

“No, God, No.” Gavin said, shaking his head violently. “I don’t do that sort of thing.”

“We just have to check so we can prepare.” Barbara said.

“This guy’s called Liam Wraith. 28 years old, a web designer at a small company in London. Average wage, though he seems to have money.” Will stated.

“Tell us about Liam.” Barbara requested.

“We started, uh, dating about a year and a half ago. We broke up 11 months ago, roughly? It was just before I came to Austin. It ended badly, he didn’t like the fact that I was leaving.” Gavin said.

“And you’re sure he’s got nothing on you? Nothing at all?” One of Will’s team asked.

“No. There’s no kinky rubbish if you’re asking that. It was a normal relationship. He’s got nothing worse than what’s already out. The only thing he can do is tell everyone how great I am in bed, and I’m not too worried about that.” Gavin said, chuckling.

He found himself relaxing slightly, becoming more confident. It felt slightly better knowing that everything was out in the open, and nobody had disowned him yet. Most people laughed at his joke. 

“Have you seen him since you left England?” Lindsay asked.

“No. I haven’t seen him since we split.” Gavin answered.

“What does he want from you?” Jack asked. 

“Does he want to get back together?” Caleb added.

“He’s not going the right way about it if he does.” Kerry chuckled.

“I don’t think he wants to get back together. It wasn’t a good relationship, okay? I don’t want to go into detail.” Gavin had started to sweat, and everyone noticed that the  
confidence was gone. “He wants to destroy my reputation. If he thought that people finding out I’m gay would lose me fans, then he’d do it. Which he did.”

“So this should be quite straight forward.” Will said after a few minutes of them working silently. “Gavin, you’ll need to film a video, tomorrow morning if possible, telling fans that the rumours are true, and that Liam and you are not together. Guys, if you have any supportive messages that you’re too shy to share here then go ahead and tweet them to Gavin, and we’ll boost them as much as we can. If this dick thinks he can mess with one of our own, then we’ll just show him that we’re not going to abandon Gavin.” 

“Wait.” Michael called out, having been silent for the whole meeting. “Gavin, does he know about the medical events?”

“No,” Gavin said, and the people who knew what Michael was on about, which was about seven, breathed a sigh of relief. Dealing with a sexuality ‘scandal’ was one thing, but a serious medical condition was a major headache for the social media team. “That was all after I left England.” 

“I’ve got no idea what you’re talking about, but if it’s harmless to this problem, then leave it out. First thing tomorrow, we’re filming that video and getting it out there. Guys, you’re tweets are fully acceptable tonight if you feel like it. It’d do well to get them circulating ready for the video tomorrow morning.” Will concluded.

“I always forget why I pay these guys.” Geoff said. “Now I remember. They’re freaking geniuses.”


	16. The Dinosaur Tattoo and Not-Mavin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gavin wakes up to his friends amusing tweets, Geoff grills Michael and he finally does something about it.

Gavin woke up abruptly, having been awoken by a nightmare. He sat up, panting, and managed to eventually calm himself down. He wanted to check his phone, see how people were reacting, but he couldn’t: Geoff knew he would and took his phone from him. 

He quickly got up, showering to make himself look like he hadn’t been up for most of the night, panicking over yesterday’s events. He quickly dried his hair, and slipped on his usual jeans and t-shirt, this one a Slow Mo Guys shirt, saying “I look even better in slow motion” on it. Dan had bought it for Gavin for Christmas, and it did make the Brit laugh. 

He went into the kitchen, where Geoff and Griffon were sitting. It was only 7am, and the two had to be at the Rooster Teeth warehouse by 8am, ready to shoot the video. Gavin was calmer than expected, but his nerves were still shot to pieces.

“Hey, buddy.” Geoff greeted.

“Hi guys.” Gavin stated.

None of them had said much after the meeting, and Gavin had escaped pretty much sharpish, not even saying hello to the guys. They’d all tried to seek him out after the meeting, but it was hopeless. He’d disappeared. Geoff had said little on the way home, just taking Gavin’s phone off him and telling him to get some sleep. 

As the pair ate a hurried breakfast, Geoff reached into his trouser pocket and handed Gavin the black IPhone with a creeper case that had been previously confiscated.  
Gavin thanked Geoff, and immediately unlocked it. He didn’t even bother to check his text messages, he just went straight to twitter. He was surprised to find nearly two million tweets for #gaygavin. He clicked onto the most popular, and was even more surprised to find what he did. 

‘@AH_BrownMan dude you should all be focusing on the fact that @GavinFree’s nose is four times larger than the normal humans rather than the fact that he’s gay. Bring on the fanfiction!’

‘@GeoffLRamsey surely @GavinFree’s awesome shirt collection (not including the team lads one) is more news-worthy than his sexuality. By the way, Gavin, I’m going to burn that shirt.’

‘@Jack_P let’s not forget that @RyanTheTwit once fingered a baby’s anus.’

‘@RyanTheTwit come on, @Jack_P, that’s hardly the worst thing I’ve done. By the way, @GavinFree, Eli says he doesn’t like girls either.’

‘@megturney @GavinFree has a dinosaur tattoo, if you want some truly shocking news. No, really.’

‘@AH_Michael so what if @GavinFree likes a bit of dick? At least he’s not a member of Team Gents, the biggest assholes of all!’

Gavin couldn’t help but laugh slightly at all of their tweets. He scrolled through other peoples, seeing that a good 80% of the tweets were positive, a lot of them with hope for fan fiction pairings to become more true now that it was revealed 50% of the pairing is actually gay. 

“Do you really have a tattoo of a dinosaur?” Geoff asked, looking amused.

Gavin chuckled. “I don’t reveal my secrets. I may or may not have tattoos. They may or may not be of dinosaurs.” 

“I didn’t have you down as a tattoo man.” Griffon said, raising an eyebrow. 

“It’s not exactly barbed wire and skulls, is it?” Geoff laughed. 

“You’re not going to burn my Team Lads shirt!” Gavin said and Geoff just smirked at him.

“Come on, Asshole, we’re late as dicks.” Geoff announced.

Twenty minutes later, they arrived at the Rooster Teeth warehouse. The place was pretty empty. The duo rushed into the building, aware that they were late. They headed up into the recording rooms, and Gavin was thrown into makeup.

“Why are they making him look better than he does?” Michael said, his voice irritated. “He looks like shit.”

“Fans don’t want to see a Gavin who looks like shit.” Jack answered helpfully.

“Why does he look like shit, Michael?” Geoff asked quietly, narrowing his eyes at Michael, who squirmed under Geoff’s gaze.

“You know?” Michael replied in the same tone. 

“He didn’t tell me, but I have eyes. I have no idea what the fuck is going on with you two, but don’t fuck around with him.” Geoff said, and Michael nodded. 

Gavin came out of makeup, looking like the fans usually see him: no bags under his eyes, clear skin, clean, ironed clothes. He looked like the happy, enthusiastic Gavin everyone knew. He had a quick talk with Will and Barbara, who told him exactly what he needed to say. Gavin looked upset at one moment, but Barbara whispered something in his ear and cheered up. Michael would have been jealous of this interaction, if the sole reason they were here wasn’t that Gavin was gay. 

Gavin sat down on the sofa they used for the occasional news video. He absentmindedly stroked the cushion next to him, which had the Rooster Teeth logo on. He looked up to find Michael watching him. The redhead sent Gavin a warm smile, which made Gavin smile back sub-consciously. 

“3,2,1.” The cameraman called. “And we’re ready.”

“Hello, viewers. So, you’ve all seen the photo that was sent around of me. Basically, this video is just to clear a few things up. First, yes, I am gay. Second, there is no current relationship between me and the other man in the photograph. Third, any relationship rumours that I know are flying around are false. I am 100% single. The photo of myself and Michael is photoshopped, although I do love my boy, it’s fake.” Gavin chuckled nervously, feeling awful that he was having to deny that anything was going on between Gavin and Michael. Will had told them to add that in, as if that rumour was flying around then there’d be a media overload. 

‘ROOSTER TEETH SUPPORT’ Barbara wrote, holding up on a sign. Gavin read the sign, and continued. 

“I want to thank everyone at Rooster Teeth for their immense support, they’ve been top! To those of you who were calling for me to be fired for other reasons than I suck at video games, then according to one Geoff Lazer Ramsey, you are all ‘Minges’. I’ve taught him that word, ha. I finally want to thank all of you who have stood up for me. However, I ask all of you to please respect my privacy and allow me to keep my personal life private. Thank you!” 

The camera cut out, and Gavin breathed a sigh of relief. That’s it – it’s out in the open. No more finding a girl to bring to weddings, no more pressure. He felt like the weight of the world was lifted from his shoulders. He hoped that less pressure would lead to the Blackouts becoming less frequent. Barbara gave him a hug, telling him she was proud of him. Gavin didn’t quite know what she was proud of him for, but she thanked him anyway. Gavin thought of the small, green animated dinosaur that he had tattooed on his hip, and smiled. 

“Hey, we need to talk.” Michael said, but he was smiling. “Well done, though you’re shaking like a fucking Chihuahua. We can grab some dinner later, and talk then?” 

“Yeah, sounds top, Mi-cool. God, I’m dying for a cup of tea.” Gavin chuckled.

“Can you stop acting like a British dick?” Michael sighed. 

“I can’t – I am a British dick.” Gavin replied, laughing.


	17. Dan's Departure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A visit from Dan fills Gavin with panic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I realise that this story hasn't had many gaming/recording scenes in detail with the guys in, so prepare for more of them! Thanks for reading >.

Gavin chatted with a few people for a bit, and then headed straight down to the AH Office, where he found someone in his chair.

“Hey, you minge, that’s my chair!” Gavin called out.

The person swivelled around in the chair, and Gavin grinned as he saw Dan sitting there, looking casual as ever. The two men hugged quickly, and Gavin ushered Dan out of his chair, sitting down on it immediately. 

“THIS IS MY CHAIR PEASANTS.” Gavin announced. “NOT EVEN MY BOY MICHAEL CAN SIT IN IT.”

Dan chuckled, and took Ryan’s chair instead. He rolled it over to Gavin and sat down on it. “I’ve heard you’ve been a brave little Brit.” Dan stated.

“Not optionally.” Gavin chuckled. “I was kinda forced into it.”

“Meg found the tattoo.” Dan chuckled.

“I KNEW IT.” Geoff laughed, walking up behind us. “Show us.” 

“Sorry, you’ll have to get me in bed before you see my tattoos.” Gavin chuckled, shrugging his shoulders.

“Tattoos?” Jack noted. “Plural?”

“Well, this is just a week of revelations.” Ray said. “But, hey, whatever, YOLO, am I right?” 

“Exactly, Ray, YOLO.” Dan replied. 

“Guys, you two wanna do a VS?” Geoff asked Dan and Gavin.

They readily agreed, knowing that the fans would love a surprise VS between Gavin and Dan. The two sat down to play the VS Fifa 13, a game the two boys loved playing together.  
Gavin picked Tottenham Hotspur, his favourite team, whereas Dan picked Chelsea, which was his favourite team. Within minutes the two Brits were shouting at the screen, with Gavin yelling “NO, YOU PENIS!” as Dan scored a goal, making the score 1-0. 

The two continued for a while, and all the other boys had stopped what they were doing to watch the two boys play, as they were both too loud and amusing to ignore. Gavin had tackled one of Dan’s players and was now racing up the field.

“Tease it, tease it!” Gavin shouted, as he dodged past a player and shot it into the net. He jumped up, pulled his shirt up and ran around the room, screaming his little head off, until he quickly realised that the game was starting again, and he sprinted back to his chair, controller in hand. 

Around the sixty-minute mark, Dan came charging towards Gavin, pulling out all of the tricks, and Gavin was squealing. “NO, NO, DAN, BE A FRIENDERMAN!” Gavin cried, but to no avail, as Dan scored another goal, making it 2-1.

The game eventually ended, with Dan winning 3-1. Gavin huffed, pretending to go into a sulk. He and Dan ended up rolling around on the ground, wrestling, with Gavin yelling at Dan that he was “A PISSY LITTLE PISS POT”

The other guys were all laughing as they watched the two friends roll around, with Ray recording it on his phone, muttering something about an RT Life. Geoff knew it wouldn’t last though, as there was a reason that Dan had flown over.

It had taken another two hours of filming and editing to get to the point though. Gavin was replenishing Achievement City’s gold and diamond ore supplies in Minecraft with Dan helping when the bombshell was dropped.

“So, Dan, what brought you here? Are you getting married to Claudia?” Gavin asked, referring to the woman Dan had been dating for several months. “I’m not going to be an uncle, am I?” 

“No, Gav, listen.” Dan started, and the cheeky grin dropped off Gavin’s face. He knew it’s serious then. “You know I’ve been in the Royal Logistics Corps for a while, don’t you?”

“Yeah, you’re a Lance Corporal, Dan, I know.” Gavin stated. “The regiment in North London.”

“Anyway, there’s been a lot of explosions out in Syria.” Dan continued. “They’re sending out more people. I’m going, Gavin.” 

“Going…” Gavin repeated.

His heart stopped for a second, but he quickly made sure his facial expression was calm. Dan had been in the British Army for a few years, and of course, Gavin was proud. Dan was good at his job, but he’d never gone out much further than Russia or France.

“It’s for a few months at most. I’m not at the frontline, Gav, don’t worry.” Dan stated, though it didn’t make Gavin any less relieved. “They’ve actually merged the Logistics team with the Media crew… I’ve been chosen to lead both.”

“Wow… congratulations, Dan.” Gavin stated.

“Gavin, I’m not going to die. It’s a good thing.” Dan said, throwing an arm around his friend’s shoulders.

“You’re right,” Gavin said, letting out a small smile. “I’m proud of you, Dan. You’ve managed to convince them you’re not a lunatic.” 

“Hell yeah!” Dan chuckled.

“When do you leave?” Gavin asked. 

“Four days. I’ve got to catch a plane back tonight. I just had time to come and see you.” Dan said. 

“I feel special.” Gavin grinned. “Now, back to the subject of Claudia.” 

“Oh god.” Dan groaned. “Hey, what about your boyf-“

“Don’t change the subject!” Gavin stated loudly.

He had noticed the other guys become interested in what Dan was about to say. Gavin did not have a boyfriend, it was Dan’s way of referring to Michael. However, the other guys didn’t know that, and Gavin wasn’t about to blurt it out. 

“I was uh actually going to ask her.” Dan said quickly, so much so that Gavin could only just tell what they were saying. “I didn’t know whether to wait or not.”

“Don’t wait, you silly sausage, do it! Ask her.” Gavin said. 

“How?” Dan questioned.

“Hold on a sec.” Gavin stated, and spun his chair around. “Hey, people who are acting like they aren’t listening to our conversation.” The others turned to face him, some of them  
looking sheepish. “How should Dan ask Claudia to marry him?”

“Serenade her with roses, I mean, YOLO, am I right?” Ray shouted, and they all laughed. 

“Don’t fucking do that.” Geoff said, shaking his head. “I took Griffon to a concert and asked her there.”

“I took Caiti back to the place of our first date.” Jack added in helpfully.

“It doesn’t matter where we did it, it has to personal to you both, Dan.” Ryan reasoned. “What did you do on your first date?”

“I met her when Gavin and I were in Switzerland.” Dan answered.

“What the fuck were you doing in Switzerland?” Michael piped up.

“We were filming different skiing jumps, a winter edition of Slow Mo Guys in November.” Gavin stated. “It never got released though. Maybe it’ll happen next Christmas.”

“Anyway, you met her in Switzerland…” Jack stated, bringing them back to the problem at hand.

“Gavin had gone snowboarding but I was bruised enough from filming, so I headed down to a little café. I met Claudia there, she was on holiday with her friends, and they’d gone shopping. I took her number after finding out she lived in London, and I took her out for coffee in a little place back home.” Dan answered. 

“Take her back to Little Joe’s.” Gavin shrugged. “Buy her favourite drink without asking, and then propose to her at some point. Maybe get her one of those heart-shaped gingerbreads Maureen bakes, she’d love them.” Gavin looked in his own world. “God, I love those gingerbreads.”

“Gav? You’re in America, buddy.” Ryan chuckled, bringing Gavin back to reality.

“Yeah, your cafes suck.” Gavin replied. “I miss Little Joe’s.”

Dan thanked them all for their help, and Gavin and Geoff drove Dan to the airport. The pair said their goodbyes to Dan, and left him when he went into the lounge. 

“You okay?” Geoff asked. 

“I’d expected it eventually. He’s too bloody clever to stay in England.” Gavin shrugged.

“Let’s go. I believe you’ve got a lunch date.” Geoff stated. “I have eyes and ears everywhere. Don’t do anything stupid.”

“That is something I can’t promise.” Gavin chuckled.


	18. The Wrong Diagnosis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gavin and Geoff take a trip to the Doctors.

The lunch date never happened. As they arrived back at the Rooster Teeth warehouse, Gavin just had enough time to warn Geoff before he fell into a fit. It only lasted a few minutes, and Gavin was back, but Geoff was hearing none of it.

“Geoff, there’s no use babying me.” Gavin whined. 

“There’s no use arguing, Gav. You’re going straight to the fucking doctors.” Geoff replied. 

“I’m not, I don’t need to, I know what’s wrong with me.” Gavin stated. “I don’t need reminding.”

“Gavin, this isn’t normal for PTSD. They’re getting worse too. I’m making you an appointment today.” Geoff said. 

“Geoff, you don’t need-“

“Listen to me, asshole, it’s happening. I’m going to take you home, and you’re gonna fucking sleep.” Geoff ordered. “I’m not hearing any buts.”

Gavin eventually gave up, and allowed himself to be driven home. He got into bed, and found himself asleep within minutes. Geoff rang Jack, explaining what had happened, and that he would be staying with Gavin for the rest of the day. 

Geoff made himself a coffee, following his policy not to drink when Gavin was in danger of a Blackout, and grabbed the phone. He rang the practise’s number, and made an appointment for Gavin at 6pm that day, as they had had a cancellation and it was an emergency appointment. 

Geoff explained his worries to Griffon when she got in, and she agreed that Geoff was doing the right thing. When it turned five, Geoff headed over to Gavin’s little garage room, and entered. He quickly woke the lad up, telling him about the doctor’s appointment, and within ten minutes they had left the house. 

Now, as Gavin and Geoff waited patiently in silence, they realised the severity of the situation. Mainly, Gavin realised that Geoff was right. He was having Blackouts more often, though the memories weren’t there in the blackouts, just the nightmares – this didn’t feel like PTSD. Geoff was right. 

“Gavin Free.” Came up on the board. “Room 5.”

Gavin got up, and Geoff got up too. Gavin was slightly embarrassed that he wasn’t alone, but also relieved. He knew that he would chicken out if he was alone. The duo walked into the room, and took their seats opposite Dr. Davis. 

“What can I do for you, Gavin?” He asked.

“My Blackouts have been getting worse.” Gavin answered.

Dr. Davis consulted his notes for a minute, and nodded. “Yes, it states here that you were diagnosed with PTSD at your old practice. Can you describe what happens for me?”

“I feel like a pull when I’m about to go into one, like an ocean current. I panic, and everything goes fuzzy and distorted. I feel like I’m drowning, and then everything goes dark. All  
I can feel is pure terror, and I eventually get brought back.” Gavin described.

“What does your body feel like?” Dr Davis ask. “When you go unconscious.”

“It’s like… numb. Yeah, I feel numb.” Gavin answered.

“The reason I ask, Gavin, is that I think you have in fact been misdiagnosed. It is easier to diagnose PTSD than it is your actual condition.” Dr Davis explained. 

“What is it?” Gavin asked quietly. 

“I can’t be sure, and we’ll have to run some quick tests, but I believe you have a rare form of epilepsy, called Temporal Lobe Epilepsy, or TLE for short. The increased brain activity that causes the epileptic fits triggers a chemical in the Temporal Lobe, the part of the brain that induces the sensation of fear. This results in your terror during the epileptic fits, and most likely night terrors.”

“He has those.” Geoff said, after a minute of silence, mainly because Gavin was staring at the floor.

“I’m going to refer you to the hospital for the diagnosis tests, and they’ll sort you out with the correct medication. Either way, it is not PTSD that you are living with, Gavin.” Dr. Davis stated. “I’d advise you to stop taking the anti-depressants immediately. They won’t do much harm, but just in case.”

“Thank you.” Gavin said. 

“In the meantime, I’m writing you an absence from work slip. I don’t want you under any stress until you are taking the correct medication, or it could just induce more seizures.”  
Dr. Davis said. 

“It won’t be a problem, I’m his boss, and he isn’t coming into work until he’s healthy.” Geoff said.

The appointment wrapped up shortly, and the duo went home, with Gavin strangely silent. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’m such a pain.” Gavin said quietly. 

“Gavin, you’re not a pain. You’re one of the family. Besides, Griffon would murder me if I didn’t take care of you. Let’s go home, and we’ll head up to the hospital tomorrow morning.” 

“The guys…” Gavin sighed. 

“They’ll have to know, Gavin, they need to be prepared if it happens whilst they’re there.” Geoff stated. 

“Can you tell them? When I’m not there?” Gavin asked.

“Of course I will, asshole. Let’s go home, I’m fucking starving.” Geoff laughed, starting up the car.


	19. Back To Normal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gavin settles back into normal life, and Team Mavin go out for pizza.

Things had been going well for Gavin Free. He’d finally been told exactly what was wrong with him, and his new medication was helping him get back to normal. He still had fits occasionally, maybe twice a month, but he never told Geoff when they happened. The gent would only worry, and that was something Gavin really didn’t want. 

He’d caught up on all of his work, the mood in the office was better than before, and the whole gay twitter scandal had finally cooled down. It felt nice to have everything out in the open, in Gavin’s opinion. 

The lads and gents sat playing a Minecraft Let’s Play, called The Most Dangerous Game. They were preparing to set up, and were around halfway there when Gavin wasn’t looking where he was going, and the creeper character fell into a pit of lava. 

“SAUSAGES!” Gavin yelled loudly.

He respawned, but had lost all of his weapons and his map. He began collecting the ingredients for his map once he’d gotten a stone sword, but he couldn’t find a compass  
anywhere.

“Are you done yet, asshole?” Geoff asked. 

“I need a compass.” Gavin replied. “But there’s absolutely bloody none!”

“Here, Gav, I’ll give you a compass.” Ray said, his character approaching Gavin’s. “In fact, have some compi.” 

There was a few seconds of silence, and everyone looked at other. “Thanks for the cumpie, Ray.” Gavin said, a shit-eating grin on his face. The others fell into laughter.  
It continued for a few minutes, until they were finally all set up. The Let’s Play started, and everything was going brilliantly, until the forty minute mark, where Gavin slaughtered Michael from behind when he was about to win. 

“GAVIN YOU DUMB FUCK, I WAS ABOUT TO FUCKING WIN AND YOU JUST WENT AND MURDERED ME!” Michael roared.

He leapt out of his chair and tackled Gavin to the floor. Michael landed on top of Gavin, and their eyes met. ‘Hm, Funny’ Michael thought. ‘I’ve never noticed how green Gavin’s eyes are before’. The men quickly snapped out of it, and Michael fake-hit Gavin for a minute, before they quickly resumed their game. 

“I’ll take Michael off my Hit List.” Gavin giggled. 

The Let’s Play continued, and Gavin just lost out on winning, as he took too much time messing around, as usual. The guys packed up their equipment, and after a few seconds of  
content silence, Geoff announced that they might as well head off for lunch. 

“You coming?” Geoff asked Team Lads, who were talking calmly in their corner. 

“Where you going?” Ray asked.

“Jersey Mikes.” Geoff replied. 

“Nah, I’m not fancying a sandwicho.” Gavin said, grinning, shaking his head.

“Me neither.” Michael agreed. 

“I’m up for it.” Ray shrugged. 

“God, I’m starving, but I don’t want a sandwich.” Gavin whined. 

“Come on, asshole, I’ll take you to Homeslice.” Michael said. 

Gavin grinned at him, and the remaining members of Team Lads headed off, both of them eager to spend some time together and eat some delicious pizza. The two got into Michael’s car, and set off their journey. Gavin turned on the radio, and one of his favourite songs came on.

Michael, of course, knew that this was the Brit’s favourite song and prepared himself for the awful singing that was about to ensue. Sure enough, after an excited squeak from Gavin, loud and very off-key singing echoed throughout the car. Despite the screeching, Michael couldn’t help but enjoy himself; Gavin was just too damn amusing. 

The pair soon found a table in Homeslice, and chose their pizzas. They fell into a silence as they waited for their food to be cooked. The two lads had never talked about what happened at Christmas Eve, and it was now March – they had just forgotten about it, or so it seemed. 

“You okay, Gav? You’re kinda quiet.” Michael said. 

“Sorry, Michael, just got lost in thoughts I guess.” Gavin shrugged, giving his best friend a weak smile. “Wow, I haven’t been here in ages.”

“I know. You never come out any more, dude.” Michael said, frowning. “You’re like a fucking hermit.”

“Am not!” Gavin protested, but smiled all the same. “I’m, er, not supposed to drink a lot on my medication now. The new ones.”

“Right. Are – are you okay now?” Michael asked, finally voicing his fears. 

“What do you mean? I’m still going to have blackouts, though they’re officially seizures now.” Gavin said. “Don’t worry, they won’t happen often now. I’ll be fine, you don’t need to  
worry about me.”

“Good.” Michael said, relief evident in his face.

Gavin felt relief flood through him. It was over – he could hide his seizures from his friends, especially Geoff and Michael, and things could hopefully go back to normal. He’d be a little less of a freak – a broken freak – in their eyes. 

“So, how’s you and Lindsey. Any plans for the wedding?” Gavin asked. 

“Uh, we’re thinking sometime in October. Though Lindsey’s doing everything to be honest.”

“Ah, that’s top! Not too hot or cold.” Gavin grinned. 

“Yeah, that’s what we thought.” Michael agreed. “You heard from Dan?” 

“I spoke to him a few days ago.” Gavin shrugged. “He’s settled in pretty well. Syria’s giving him some pretty good footage, and his team are working well. Also, Claudia said yes.”

“Awesome, so you’re the best man?” Michael asked.

“I don’t know. Haven’t been asked.” Gavin stated.

The two fell into casual conversation once more, discussing a new game that came out recently, and the conversation flowing freely. They both dug in appreciatively when their pizza arrived. 

“Do they have pizza in England?” Michael asked. 

Gavin laughed. “Of course they do, you donut!”

“Hey, don’t fucking take that tone, you assholes are like Martians.” Michael grumbled. “With your tea and scones and shit.”

“Ah, scones are the best.” Gavin sighed, smiling dreamily. 

“Do you miss England, Gavino? Michael asked.

He knew instantly that he had hit a nerve. Gavin choked on the drink he was swallowing, and quickly recovered, red-faced. He was silent for a moment, but nodded eventually. 

“Yeah… Yeah, I do.” Gavin answered. “Austin’s great, but I miss home sometimes. Not that I’ve got much left.” Gavin snorted.

“You still considering moving back there?” Michael asked, his tone serious once more. He was determined to have the talk they never had.

“I don’t know.” Gavin answered. “If I do, it won’t be any time soon. It was just an option. It still is. Why would it be a massive problem if I did go back to England? I could be easily replaced.”

“If you think that then you’re fucking delusional. Gav, you can’t just be replaced. Sure, we can get someone to take your job, but the fans would have a bloody fit if you go.” Michael laughed.

“I know I’m top and everything, but-“

“No but, Gavin. You’re part of Rooster Teeth, it wouldn’t be the same without you.” Michael interrupted. “Whatever you were planning to study, you can do it here.2

“Wait – how did you know I was planning to study?” Gavin asked, narrowing his eyes at the Jersey boy. 

“Fuck. I had to get some files from your computer for Geoff when you were off somewhere, and that was the page that was up. A university in England.” Michael said.

“It was just an option. If…” Gavin trailed off, worried about voicing his fears.

“Gav, you can say it. I’m not gonna freak out on you dude.” Michael said, his tone softer than usual.

“It was an option if my fits got worse, and I couldn’t work at Rooster Teeth anymore.” Gavin sighed. “A back-up plan. Happy? I told you.” 

“You really are fucking delusional if you think Geoff would let you out of his sight.” Michael said, shaking his head.

Gavin said nothing, looking at his hands, which were clasped in his lap. He had opened up to Michael, and he knew he shouldn’t have. Luckily enough, Geoff had text Michael asking them where the fuck they were. The two quickly scrambled to the car, and said nothing until they pulled up in the parking lot. 

“I’m not going to say anything.” Michael said. “Don’t worry. It’s none of my business, you’re right.” 

“Thanks, Micoo.” Gavin replied. 

“Let’s get back to work before Geoff kicks our asses.” Michael chuckled.


	20. Over The Edge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael and Geoff finally push Gavin over the edge.

Tension in the office was at an all-time high. Geoff had overheard Michael telling Lindsey about Gavin debating moving back to England, and Gavin and Geoff had not yet discussed it. Ryan’s newborn kid was keeping him awake so he was cranky, Michael and Lindsey had had an argument, Burnie had pissed Ray off. It seemed like Jack was the only calm one. 

It was a good thing, too. The Let’s Play Minecraft had been so poor so far. They were meant to be playing a game Gavin had devised. Geoff had been out of town for a few days, and Gavin had taken charge of planning the Let’s Play. It had failed miserably, and the tension was only building in the office.

They had experienced a month of calm, and it was now April. Spring should have calmed the men, but it only made them more agitated.  
Gavin had not been sleeping again. His terror-filled dreams had increased, a sign to him that another big seizure was coming on. It had been like that when he had thought it was PTSD. Stupid diagnosis. Gavin had been subjected to several seizures since they had found out it was TLE, but Geoff knew about none of them. Gavin didn’t want to be a burden.

Gavin once again focused his attention on the Let’s Play at hand, just in time to hear Ray’s question.

“What’s in your hand, Gav?” Ray asked. 

“He’s holding onto his job by a fucking thread.” Geoff snapped. 

His voice was filled with so much venom that Gavin’s eyes actually stung. He focused his eyes on the screen, not even bothering to reply. He threw the object in his hand to Ray so that he could see it, and headed off in the direction of the build for the Let’s Play, hoping to salvage something. 

Gavin was quiet for several minutes, though none of the guys noticed. It wasn’t until Gavin fell to his death into a pit of lava, whilst holding all of the spare wool that he and  
Michael were attempting to use, that the tension hit peak point. 

“FOR FUCK’S SAKE, GAVIN. THAT WAS ALL OF THE WOOL WE HAD. EVERY LAST FUCKING BIT. YOU’VE JUST BEEN AN ASSHOLE AND THROWN IT ALL INTO THE BLOODY LAVA. I HOPE YOU’RE FUCKING HAPPY, YOU DUMB SHIT.” Michael raged. 

Gavin felt waves of panic flow through him, but he fought them off. He quickly stood up, muttering something about ‘bathroom’, but Geoff recognised the symptoms. Pale face, shaking hands, distant expression. 

“Gavin, no-“ Geoff cried. 

It was too late. Gavin muttered, “I’m sorry” before collapsing to the floor. Geoff had dove forward to catch him, having suspicions with regards to what was about to happen. The lad was about to have a seizure, and he’d tried to escape them. 

Geoff quickly lifted Gavin’s thrashing body up with mild difficulty, and laid him down on the sofa, which Ryan had quickly cleared. Geoff kneeled down to him, and the other guys couldn’t believe how close he looked to crying. 

It wasn’t Geoff who was the most distraught, though. It was Michael. He sat in a corner, white as a sheet, with hands shaking so much he had dropped his controller. His eyes were wide, and he watched Gavin, who was still in the midst of his fit. 

“Four minutes thirty, Geoff.” Jack announced. 

If Gavin’s seizures went over five minutes, the experts had told Geoff at the hospital, then they had to call an ambulance immediately. 

“Come on, you british bastard, don’t do this.” Geoff stated, sounding desperate. 

“Five.” Jack stated. 

Ryan immediately had his phone out and rang an ambulance immediately. Jack, who seemed to be the only one with a level head at that point, left the room for a second to alert Kara of the ambulance’s arrival. 

Minutes later, she appeared in the office behind a team of paramedics. Ryan had to take hold of Geoff to get him to step away from Gavin, so that he could be placed onto the stretcher. 

Geoff climbed into the ambulance with Gavin, and they sped away. Gavin had stopped fitting by the time he was stretchered away, but he was still unconscious. They all stood in the office for a minute, shell-shocked, before someone finally moved. A loud sob echoed throughout the room, quickly followed by Michael pushing his way past Ryan and fleeing the office. 

“Should I-“ Ryan said, but Jack shook his head. 

“He needs time to think. God knows what’s going on between those two.” Jack said. 

“Let’s all sit down.” Ray said, taking charge. 

Vav needed X-Ray to keep their friends calm right now, and he was going to step up to the mark. They all agreed, Jack and Ryan sitting on the couch, with Ray dragging up a chair and collapsing into it with a sigh. 

“Was that like the other one?” Ray asked quietly.

“No.” Ryan answered. “Kind of. That one was longer. Worse.” 

“He hasn’t had them in a while. Geoff said so.” Jack said. 

“I don’t think Gavin’s being honest again.” Ryan shrugged. “That was a big one. He’s got to have had smaller ones leading up to it.” 

“He’ll be okay.” Jack said suddenly, noticing Ray’s worried expression. “This is Gavin Free we’re talking about, the annoying British idiot that’s not going down without a fight. He’ll  
be fine.” 

Nobody seemed very reassured by Jack’s words. Michael returned half an hour later, with bloodshot eyes and a sunken expression, Lindsay clutching his hand. He quietly  
acknowleged the guys, who had given up any attempt at work. 

Michael was wrecked with guilt. He had yelled at Gavin, took it over the edge when he knew the lad was stressed. Gavin had promised him that he was fine, that he wasn’t having  
fits. It never occurred to Michael that Gavin would be lying.

“Its not your fault, Michael.” Jack said quietly. “It was bound to happen soon.”

“Yeah, but you didn’t push him over the fucking edge, did you, Jack?” Michael replied. “I knew I shouldn’t have listened to him.” 

“What do you mean, Honey?” Lindsey asked quietly. 

“Last time we were at Homeslice. He convinced me that he was okay now, that he wasn’t having fits. I should have known he was lying.” Michael sighed. 

They fell into a silence. Elsewhere, a groggy Brit was waking up to a guilt-ridden American pacing up and down the room.


	21. The Aftershock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gavin wakes up from his latest seizure, and Geoff learns the truth about what's been going on.

“Calm down, Geoffrey.” Gavin muttered.

Geoff stopped his pacing to turn to the previously unconscious lad laying on the bed. Sure enough, the Brit slowly sat up, though he paled whilst doing it. Geoff rushed over to him, helping him to sit up. 

“Don’t you ever fucking do that to me again.” Geoff said, though he didn’t sound angry. 

“’Msorry.” Gavin mumbled. “Didn’t want you to see.”

“You’re an asshole. I don’t care that I saw. I meant don’t ever let us get you to a point where you’re so stressed you have a seizure.” Geoff replied, his tone much softer. “You  
scared us, Gav.”

“Why did I get brought here? I never come here.” Gavin said, frowning as he looked around groggily.

“You were fitting for more than five minutes. We had no choice.” Geoff said quietly. “You’ve only been here for a few hours. The terror was too strong for a bit, it knocked you  
unconscious for longer than usual. Nothing really to worry about, according to the Doctor. It can happen sometimes.”

“Oh, right.” Gavin said. “The guys saw it, didn’t they? All of it.”

“They refused to leave. They had the opportunity, they all wanted to help.” Geoff explained. “You’ve sent Michael into a guilty wreck.”

“What?” Gavin asked in disbelief. 

“I called Jack, and apparently as soon as you’d gone, Michael stormed out of the room sobbing. He thinks you had the seizure because he was yelling at you.” Geoff explained. 

“He’s outside, refused to leave.”

Gavin said nothing. Michael was so upset he cried? In front of the others too, though he obviously tried to mask it. He felt the familiar butterflies in his stomach when he thought about seeing Michael, though he had long stopped denying them to himself. Michael would never feel that way, he was drunk when they kissed, and he’d made it clear that he was with Lindsey. 

“Gav?” Geoff said, bringing the lad out of his thoughts in fear that he’d go unconscious again. “You with me?”

“Huh? Yeah, sorry, Geoffrey. Just thinking.” Gavin said, focusing on Geoff. “How long have I been out then?”

“A few hours.” Geoff shrugged. “I’ll go call the others, tell them you’re awake. I think they’re gonna run some tests on you to check you’re alright, now that you’re awake.” 

Sure enough, as soon as Geoff left the room, a nurse came in. She began by asking Gavin how he felt whilst she took his blood pressure. It was slightly high, but that was due to what had happened, and she didn’t seem concerned by it. 

She ran a few more quick tests, and stated that Gavin would have to stay in overnight in case he had any after-shocks, but if he was fine in the morning then he’d be released. He nodded, and she left, taking the hint that he wasn’t in the mood to talk. Geoff quickly returned. 

“Listen, you fucker. Next time you have a fit, you don’t leave, you tell me. No more fucking hiding it.” Geoff said firmly.

“But-“

“No fucking buts, asshole. You feel it, you tell me or Ryan or someone with a brain. Okay?” Geoff snapped.

“Do you hate me?” Gavin asked, and when confusion flashed on his friends face, continued, “Because I considered going back to England?”

“I don’t hate you, Gavvers.” Geoff replied softly. “I hate the idea of you leaving over Mic- over being unhappy.”

“You know?” Gavin stated, and Geoff nodded.

“It’ll pass, Gav. Trust me. You’ll meet someone else, and it can be over.” Geoff said. 

Gavin was still silent, though guilt shone through on his face. An idea popped into Geoff’s head, but he didn’t like that thought one bit. 

“Gavin… what’s happened?” Geoff asked.

“We were drunk.” Gavin blurted out. 

“Gav…”

“At your Christmas Eve party. We just kissed – well, a lot actually. He said himself it meant nothing, it was just a drunken mistake.” Gavin shrugged.

“But it’s not just a drunken mistake for you, Gavin.” Geoff said. He needed to know what was going on, even though the conversation was paining the boy. “You need to get out of  
this. I – I see why you wanted to go back to England.” 

“If my fits don’t stop, I’ll have to leave anyway.” Gavin said in little more than a whisper.

“Over my dead body, you fucker. You’re not going anywhere.” Geoff said firmly. 

“RTX, The Live Stream, PAX East, all the other conventions and panels. What do we do there?” Gavin questioned. 

“We’ll make a plan. It’ll be okay, Gav. Get some sleep for a bit, you look like shit.” Geoff chuckled.

Within minutes, the Brit had fallen asleep. Geoff smiled at him fondly, before getting up and leaving his bedside. He left the hospital, pulling out his phone. He scrolled through his contacts until he found Michael’s name. He had sent the lad back to the office to update the others. He picked up with a few rings.

“Geoff, what’s happened?” Michael answered, his voice filled with panic. “I’ll put you on speakerphone.”

“It’s okay, Gavin’s fine. Very tired, but he’ll be okay. He’s staying in overnight just in case, and he’ll be back tomorrow.” Geoff reassured. “You guys head home, get some rest. Be in early tomorrow – we need to make a plan in case this shit happens in a more inconvenient place.” 

Geoff waited as Michael and the others discussed it. “Yeah, that’s fine.” 

“Michael, you wanna step outside the office a sec?” Geoff asked.

Michael took the hint, removing the speakerphone setting and stepping outside the office. He closed the door behind him, and took a few steps to make sure he was out of earshot. 

“Is everything okay, Geoff?” Michael asked. 

“I know what happened on Christmas Eve. Between you and Gavin.” Geoff said.

“Oh.” Came Michael’s reply.

“Look – make a decision. Leave it and go no further, or tell Lindsey.” Geoff instructed. “Or I will.” 

“I – I’m trying to do that, he’s my best friend.” Michael said, his voice uncharacteristically quiet. “I feel bad enough as it is.” 

“Don’t feel so bad, he’s fine, and he’s not upset. He was due for a big one anyway. Just remember what I said. Try to let him down easy, I don’t want to have to deal with a moping Brit.”

The two talked for a few minutes more before hanging up the phone. Geoff felt better about the situation. He knew that Michael was not going to be with Gavin, and he didn’t  
want his pseudo-son getting hurt, no matter how much Griffon had begged him to not interfere.


	22. The Live Stream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Live Stream doesn't go well for Gavin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all of your comments and Kudos!  
> You could probably say that this story is getting pretty long. I have no intentions of stopping it!  
> From now on, there might be a few trigger warnings:
> 
> 1)self-loathing  
> 2)possible self harm, though I haven't decided yet

It was the day of the Live Stream, and everyone was excited. It was going to be difficult, but who cares? It’s something different, and it’s all for a good cause. It was hour ten, and Gavin had just arrived to spend a couple of hours on the stream, relieving the pressure from Caiti, who had been looking after them all for ten hours.

  
He paid the taxi man, and text Griffon to assure him that he had gotten here safe. The woman still worried about him, despite the fact that he was 26 years old and had not had a fit in several weeks. If anything, that made her more worried – he was due for one. 

When Gavin got up to the studio, having grabbed a Beer in advance, he took a second to see who was there. Michael, his boy, was present, along with Ryan, Brandon and Kara. Gavin came running on-screen, grinning like a madman. 

“THE PARTY HAS ARRIVED.” He announced. 

“Gav!” Michael grinned. 

Gavin ran over to him and the two hugged, and the others laughed. Everyone knew that the fans loved a bit of Mavin. _It’s a shame it meant a lot more to me_ , the Brit thought bitterly. However, he kept the bright smile plastered on his face, and sat down on the sofa, when Caiti got up to go grab a drink and maybe an hour’s sleep. Gavin took a swig of his beer, watching Michael out of the corner of his eye as he talked to Barb. They talked for around an hour, with Barb throwing in the odd terrible pun. It was fun, but Gavin knew that something more entertaining was needed. 

“Hey, Gav, we’re gonna play some Trials. You wanna play?" Jack asked.

"Hm, I don't know, Beardo. Scared you'll get beat?" Gavin teased.

"Trust me, I'm not scared of that." Jack replied.

Gavin shrugged, nodding, and got up from his comfy spot on the floor to join Jack and Michael, who was now sitting at the mobile XBOX collection at the back of the Podcast stage. Gavin took a seat on the end, and signed into his profile. 

Three games in, and Gavin was failing miserably. Michael had managed to scrape a win, but Jack was dominating them all. 

"What do you say, Micoo, Team Nice Dynamite should try to stop Beardo here winning?" Gavin offered, sending a cheeky grin to Michael. 

Geoff's warning echoing in his mind, Michael shook his head at the offer. "No, Gavino. I'd like to actually finish the race, thanks." 

"I'm hurt, Michael! You're my boi." Gavin whined, pouting. 

Michael rolled his eyes, but he could see the hurt in the Brit's face for a second, though it was gone straight away. They settled back into the game, with Jack winning the nextfour rounds. 

"Ugh, I give up! Anyone fancy a game of Peggle?" Gavin asked. 

"NO!" came a chrous of shouts from everyone in the studio. 

"Well, then, you're all mingy little piss pots." Gavin replied, huffing. 

He handed his controller over to Adam, stating that he was tired of getting beat and was going to annoy someone. The truth was, though, that Gavin felt tired. Exhausted, actually. His limbs were aching, his head pounding. When he felt a familiar tug, he knew that he needed to get out. Not on the Live Stream. 

Whilst the camera panned over to get a close up on Adam and his screen, Gavin took the opportunity to frantically signal to Jack, who instantly knew what was wrong.  
Gavin got up off the sofa and ran out of the room, hoping to make it to the AH Office before he collapsed. As he caught sight of Ryan's sofa, the final tug took him out to unconsciousness. 

Jack had said something about accompanying Gavin to get some snacks, and fled the scene before the camera even had chance to film them. He raced down the corridor, knowing that Gavin would have headed straight to the office. A scream reached his ears, and Jack raced into the office. 

Gavin lay on the floor, obviously unconscious, thrashing about, his eyes glazed over with fear. His whole body exclaimed fear. Jack took the surprisingly light man into his arms, laying the Brit onto Ryan's sofa. 

He knelt by him, feeling himself being ripped apart by the occasional scream Gavin would let out. He was cautious of time, checking the countdown on his phone. It had been two minutes and thirty seconds. Ten seconds later, Gavin stopped thrashing, and within a minute, his eyes lost the glassiness, though he still looked terrified. 

"Gav?" Jack asked softly, placing a hand on his arm. 

Gavin jerked away from Jack's touch, his eyes filling with fear once more. He curled himself up into a ball from natural instinct. Jack knew that it was nothing personal, it was just the aftermath of the TLE Fit, but he still felt awful. He grabbed the bottle of water on Gavin's desk, and placed it next to the Lad. 

Gavin was taking deep breaths, trying to calm himself. It's not real, you're safe, it was just a seizure. He repeated it to himself, and he slowly came back to reality. He looked over to Jack, who was kneeling beside him. The Brit slowly sat up, clutching his head. He took the nearby water into his hand, gulping several mouthfuls gratefully. 

"Sorry." Gavin said quietly. "Did I snap at you?" 

"No. You just jerked away - it doesn't matter. I should have known better than to touch you." Jack said. 

"It's fine. How long was it?" Gavin asked, drinking the water once more until 1/2 of the bottle was gone. 

"The actual seizure was around three minutes. Took a while for you to calm down enough, though. It's been around ten minutes." Jack answered helpfully.

"Geoff?" Gavin mumbled. 

"I've text him. He said he's on his way." Jack said. 

"Why?" Gavin asked, suddenly seeming on edge. "He didn't need to know."

"Gavin, he wants to know when you have a fit." Jack stated carefully, frowning at the younger man. "He worries."

"That's the problem! He worries. He shouldn't. It won't get him anywhere. You worried, and it could so easily have gone wrong. I could have hurt you, Jack. You should have just left me, stayed in the studio." 

"Jesus Christ, Gavin. We're prepared. We wouldn't be mad if you hurt us - it's not you. You shouldn't be alone during them, it's dangerous. Look what happened last time." Jack said.

Gavin remained silent, only looking up when Geoff came jogging into the room, worry etched all over his face. 

"WHERE IS THE FUCKER?" Geoff shouted.

He fell silent when he caught sight of Gavin, who was still curled up in a ball, though he was a lot less scared and a whole lot more tired. Geoff's face softened, and he pulled the Brit into a loose hug. 

"Hey, buddy." Geoff said. 

"I believe I'm 'the fucker', right?" Gavin asked, raising an eyebrow. 

"Shut up." Geoff sighed. "How you feeling?"

"Tired." Gavin replied. "Should probably get back on the Stream." 

"Seriously?" Geoff asked, raising an eyebrow. 

"They'll get suspicious if I don't." Gavin shrugged. "Besides, I've got a job to do. I can't keep blowing off work because I've got a bloody broken brain."

"Hold on, Burnie's ringing me." Geoff said, when his phone began to buzz. "Burns - yeah, he's awake. He's fine. He wants to come back. Yes, I've tried to talk him out of it. No, I can't try harder, he's fucking stubborn. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Will do." 

"Well?" Jack asked cautiously, stroking his beard. Despite his calm expression, his hands were shaking. 

"Burnie doesn't want you to go back on, but he agrees that the fans will be suspicious anyway. He says they're all getting changed into their pyjamas, so you should too. Oh, and grab some snacks from the fridge and say you got them from the store, so it explains your absence." Geoff stated. 

"He's way too good at lying." Jack commented, and Geoff nodded. 

"Well, let's go then." Gavin said, standing up and wobbling. Jack grabbed the lad, helping him to stand up. 

"You've got to be fucking kidding me." Geoff sighed.

"I'm toppy-tippers!" Gavin insisted, releasing his arm from Jack's grip. 

He grabbed his bag, which was on his desk, pulling a pair of creeper-print pyjama pants out of his back, followed by a plain black t-shirt. Gavin left the room for a minute, coming back in later fully changed. The whole outfit was very Gavin. They took a few minutes to grab the refreshments needed, and put them into Jack's rucksack. 

Upon entering the studio, Gavin instantly put the cheery act up. He grinned, engulfing Ray in a hug with a shout of "X-RAY!" as he saw that his Puerto-Rican friend had arrived, and was in a pair of normal pyjamas. 

"Nice clothes, Vav." Ray commented, and Gavin gave a very girly twirl, showing off his favourite pyjamas. 

It was almost as if he hadn't been fitting violently fifteen minutes ago. Things settled down again, with Gavin and Michael laying on two large beanbags, the main focus being on the games that were being played by Ray, Geoff Lindsay.

"You okay?" Michael asked quietly, knowing that the microphones wouldn't pick up on his voice, as they were too far out of range.

"Yeah, it was a short one. Got it over and done with." Gavin replied, his voice equally quiet.

"I was worried. We all were, you just disappeared." Michael stated.

"What was I supposed to do?" Gavin replied, a little too defensive. 

"Tell me. You instantly went to Jack, just ignoring me." Michael said. 

"Well, I'm sorry Michael, but I was a little pre-occupied to consider your feelings at the time!" Gavin replied, his voice rising slightly. 

"Ignore their domestic. Gavin killed Michael today and stopped him winning the Tower of Pimps." Geoff said to the camera, and they all laughed. 

Gavin felt hopeless. Michael had been cold to him since he had the big fit, though it was getting progressively worse. He'd made so many mean comments to the Brit that Gavin had lost count. Each one stung, and Gavin wondered if Michael had finally realised what a fuck-up he was. _Yeah, that's it. It's all over now, Gavino._

Leaving the beanbags, Gavin swapped places with Arryn on the couch, pulling Jack's laptop onto his knee with the Gent's permission, and loaded up Twitter, logging on his account. The first thing he did was went onto the hashtag they were using for the Stream, of course.

  * **Seems like there's trouble brewing in the land of Mavin. #rtstream**
  * **Michael's such a sore loser! #rtstream**
  * **Gavin's pyjamas are seriously cool. #rtstream**
  * **NOOO! MAVN! My favourite ship is sinking thanks to the Tower of Pimps! #rtstream #heartbreak**



If only they knew, Gavin thought bitterly. It's not the Tower of Pimps pulling Mavin apart. Come to think of it, Gavin didn't know what was pulling Mavin apart. _Was it their awkward denial that the Christmas Eve Kisses meant anything? Was it Gavin's minged up brain?_

**_No,_** Gavin thought ** _, It's the fact that he's engaged and straight. He's never going to be mine_. **


	23. Overwhelming Guilt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Lindsay looks after Gavin, he feels overwhelming guilt over him and Michael.

Gavin knew that something was wrong. Ever since the close call with the Live Stream, his seizures had been getting worse. Out of the five he had experienced during October, two of them had been witnessed by someone. 

Now, though, was really not a convinient time for one. Standing in the kitchen, having finished a recording and escaped sharpish, feeling that familiar light-headedness.

No matter how hard he tried to fight it, leaning against the counter, he felt the pull getting stronger,  and soon he succumbed to the darkness.

Lindsay had paused the building of a Minecraft Let's Play to go and grab a drink from the fridge. When she got there, however,  there were more pressing matters to attend to: like the seizing Brit on the floor. 

She knew that Gavin had TLE Epilepsy, of course - Michael had informed her, when he was sobbing after Gavin's big seizure.

Quickly getting to work, Lindsay took off her jacket and placed it under his head to stop him hurting himself. She kept her eye on her watch, though it was painful to watch the Brit look so terrified in his state of unconsciousness.

It was the scream that Gavin let out, two minutes into the seizure,  that really ripped through Lindsay. It was horrifying to see the Lad this way - so weak and vulnerable, like a small child.

By three minutes, Gavin had stopped seizing, and he came back fully around the fourth minute. He looked so scared that Lindsay just wanted to hug him, even though in that situation Lindsay knew better than to touch Gavin. She instead placed a bottle of water within reaching distance for him, and took a few steps back. It wasn't until five minutes later, when Gavin looked much more composed, that Lindsay pulled him into a loose hug.

"It's okay, Gav,  I'm here." She whispered soothingly.

"Why are you here?" Gavin asked, shame filling his voice.

"I came to get a drink and you were seizing. Wasn't gonna just leave you, Gav." Lindsay chuckled. "How do you feel?"

"Tired." Gavin muttered, and he really did look exhausted. "I better get back, we were supposed to be recording again." 

"Come on,  I'll take you back." Lindsay offered, helping the Brit up and grabbing her jacket from the floor.

"You don't have to." Gavin stated.

"I want to." Lindsay insisted.

Albeit reluctantly, Gavin let Lindsay help him back to the office, where everyone was waiting patiently.

When the door opened, the Achievement Hunters looked up, ready for Geoff to yell at the Brit for being gone so long. However,  when their eyes fell upon an exhausted and ill-looking Lad, the harsh comments never fell from their lips.

"Gavin?" Geoff questioned quietly.

"He's had a seizure." Lindsay said eventually, when Gavin remained silent.

At the mention of the magic word, Geoff snapped into Protective mode, fussing over Gavin. Ryan cleared his couch to let Gavin lie down (despite protesting that he was fine), and once the Brit had Michaels hoodie draped over him, he was fast asleep.

"You okay?" Jack asked Lindsay.

"Yeah, he wasn't violent or anything." Lindsay shrugged.

She headed over to Michael, sitting down on her fiancées lap and resting her head into his chest. Michael began to stroke her hair like he would always do when she was upset, and soon Lindsay felt much more calm. It was almost as if nothing had happened.  

* * *

The week went on quickly, as if nothing had happened. Gavin had thanked Lindsay for being calm The next day, though Lindsay couldn't help but notice that the Lad was avoiding her like the plague.

By Friday, she decided that enough was enough. She seemed to have upset Gavin somehow, and she was determined to fix it.

When she knew that Gavin would be in the office and not recording, Lindsay took the opportunity to corner the Lad.

She greeted him as she entered the otherwise empty office, sitting in Michael's chair. Gavin swivelled around and said hello, confusion and guilt clearly visible on his face.

"Michael isn't here." Gavin stated. 

"I know," Lindsay replied. "I came to talk to you." 

"Oh, uh, top." Gavin said uneasily. 

"You've been avoiding me, Gav. Don't deny it." Lindsay said as the Lad opened his mouth to argue, but couldn't seem to find a point. "Why? What have I done? How have I upset you, Gav?"

"You haven't done anything, Linds." Gavin replied, not being able to look at his friend.  _She's so good, and I'm in love with her fiancée._

"Then tell me what's going on." She said simply, but her voice was firm. She was telling him that she wasn't going to drop this. 

"I - I can't tell you." Gavin said, feeling silly even as he said it. "I know it sounds stupid, but it's just - it'll hurt you, and I really don't want that, 'cause you're such a top person and I'm - I'm just a rinsy little prick." 

"Gavin, whatever you've done, we can talk it through." Lindsay said, thoroughly confused as to what was going on. "What can really be that bad that I'd hate you?"

"I wouldn't bloody rule it out." Gavin muttered. "I - Michael and I kissed."

Lindsay remained quiet. There was no anger in her face as present, she just looked a little shocked. Upset, maybe. Overall, though, her face was expressionless. Realising that Lindsay was waiting for him to continue, Gavin swallowed nervously. 

"Around Christmas time. He said it meant nothing, but you've been so good to me, especially recently, and I just felt so guilty, so I tried to avoid you." Gavin explained sheepishly.

"Thank you for telling me, Gav." Lindsay said quietly.

"Are you mad?" He asked, feeling like a small child once more. 

"Not in the way that you would think. I don't hate you, Gavin, if that's what you're hinting at. I - I need to deal with this though."

"It meant nothing to him, Linds, he said so himself. We were drunk." Gavin insisted. 

"Don't defend him, Gavin." Lindsay said, the anger seeping into her voice. 

Gavin sat, staring at his lap, feeling extremely ashamed. How could he have done this to Lindsay? No matter how hazy the memories were, Gavin knew that he had kissed Michael first. It was his fault that they were in this mess. When he next looked up, Lindsay had gone. Gavin let out the breath he didn't know he was holding, and ran a hand through his hair. He slid on his headphones and loaded up some Slow Mo Guys videos, hoping to distract himself. 

It wasn't until an hour later, when the guys all entered the office sans-Michael, that Gavin knew what had gone on by the solemn looks on all of their faces. Geoff gave Gavin a look, grabbed him by the collar and pulled him up. Gavin was forcefully dragged over to Geoff's desk, and thrown into the chair. It was obvious that Geoff was not a happy man. 

"What the fuck did you say to Lindsay?" Geoff asked quietly. 

"She wormed the truth out of me." Gavin replied. "I told her what happened, that it meant nothing to him. She was weird - she said she wasn't mad at me, but she was mad in a different way."

"Really? 'Cause she's just gone absolutely apeshit at Michael." Geoff replied. 

"What do you mean? What happened?" Gavin questioned, guilt eating away at him. 

"She's just asked him if anything happened between you two. He straight up lied to her. She slapped him, very hard. They argued and broke up. Everyone gave them space, but apparently Lindsay's got a worse temper than Michael." 

Gavin didn't say anything. He had split up Michael and Lindsay. It was all his fault. They both hated him, and so did everyone else. He saw the glares he was sent, when they were playing games or when he spoke. He saw the way Geoff looked at him - he was a burden. A useless, relationship-ruining burden. It was all his fault. Gavin jumped up and fled the room, not being able to stand the accusing glances sent his way. 

 

 


	24. The Irritating Sickness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gavin is sick after a seizure, and Michael is driving the R&R Connection insane.

It was not going well for Geoffrey Ramsey. All because of that stupid British idiot he had brought over to England five years ago. Now he was overcome with bloody fatherly feelings.

It was like the beginning, nearly a year ago, when they first found out about Gavin's seizures. They had thought it was something he could overcome, the backlash of a bad time - how wrong they were.

Gavin was getting worse. The Brit denied it, stating that he was just not getting enough sleep, which was true. Geoff had heard him one night, having gone outside to let the cat in. Geoff had snuck into his little house out back to check on the lad, only to find him in the midst of a nightmare.

Gavin never mentioned it, and Geoff knew that the younger would prefer it to stay that way. No matter how much he needed help, Gavin would rarely accept it. This was a part of his life that he preferred to keep private.

So when Michael and Lindsay split up, it put a lot of pressure on Gavin. He and Michael had barely spoken except when necessary, and Geoff could tell how upset it was making the Brit. The other Achievement Hunters were oblivious, of course. They just thought that it was a phase Team Nice Dynamite were going through, and besides, the whole of Achievement Hunter didn't do many videos with all of them in the same room.

Now, though, as Geoff sat with a seizing Brit on a Tuesday morning, he began to worry. It was already three minutes, and Gavin was still completely out of it. Glancing anxiously between the timer on his phone and the now still Brit, Geoff tried to remain calm. He needed to be calm for Gavin, at the very least.

At four and a half minutes, Gavin returned to Geoff. The first thing he saw was a very concerned Texan, who looked like he wanted to cry and 'kick his dick in' at the same time.

"Jesus fucking Christ Gavin, a little warning would have been nice." Geoff sighed, but he didn't sound angry. Just tired. _Tired of you,_ a little voice said in Gavin's head.

"Sorry. It came on quick." Gavin replied, his voice little more than a whisper.

"You okay? Is it over? Or do you think you're going to go into another?" Geoff asked, his protective side taking over.

“I don’t know.” Gavin muttered, sitting up. He felt woozy and weak, the world spinning around him. “I think I’m going-“

Geoff was one step ahead of him. Seeing Gavin’s face a sickly green colour, he had grabbed the nearby bin in preparation, and sure enough, the Brit was soon heaving into the bin. Geoff rubbed circles on his back until he was done.

“Okay, bud?” Geoff asked calmly.

“Fine.” Gavin mumbled. “Feel sick.”

“Yeah, I guessed.” Geoff chuckled. He pressed his hand to the shivering lad’s head, he found that Gavin was burning up. “You have a fever. Does this ever happen?”

“Dan says I have seizures when I’m sick.” Gavin muttered.

“Yeah, well I think he’s right. Come on, Gavvers, let’s lie you down on the sofa.”

Gavin just nodded, feeling too weak to do anything. The seizure had taken any energy he had left away, and he had felt pretty lousy before it. He managed to haul himself into the living room (leaning heavily on Geoff) and he collapsed onto the sofa. Geoff grabbed a blanket and draped it over the shivering lad. He went into the kitchen to get Gavin a glass of water, but when he returned, Gavin was fast asleep. He placed the water on the coffee table and pulled out his phone.

Stepping out of the room to make the call, he selected Jack's contact, deciding that the Gent would be his best bet. Sure enough, after a few rings, the Texan answered the phone.

"Hey Geoff." Jack stated.

"Hey Jack. I don't think me and Gav are gonna be coming in today. He's just had a seizure, and it's made him a little sick." Geoff replied.

"Oh my God, is he okay?" Jack asked hurriedly.

"He's fine, apparently it's happened before a few times. I'm gonna stay with him, make sure he's okay. He's currently fast asleep on the couch. Looks like shit." Geoff sighed.

"It's probably for the best. What do you want us to do today? Michael's just gone to get a drink, and Ray is talking to Tina. Ryan's doing something with Jon." Jack explained.

"Don't record any Let's Play's. We'll have to do the Minecraft one when he's better, we can't do it without Gavin. Get Michael to do his RageQuit, Ray can do the Achievement Guides for Trials:Fusion. You can join in for a few. Ryan will be able to occupy himself, I think Lindsay said something about pulling him in for a build she was working on, with the Buckingham Palace. I'll ring Burnie, explain the situation to him."

"Anything else you want me to do?" Jack questioned, knowing that when Geoff was unable to be there, he took over as boss of Achievement Hunter, having co-founded it.

"Keep the guys calm. Explain to them that he's fine. Especially Michael, you know how he'll freak out, no matter what's going on with them." Geoff sighed. "Thanks, Jack. I'm hoping he'll be back to normal by tomorrow."

"Don't get your hopes up, Geoff. Call me later." Jack said, hanging up the phone once Geoff had said his goodbyes.

Jack was right. Gavin's health was unpredictable, and it affected them all, although Geoff would never tell Gavin that. It was stressful. Geoff was responsible for Gavin; he had brought him to America, Gavin lived with Geoff. He needed to look after him, and right now he was doing a rather shitty job.

Elsewhere, a certain rehead was pacing nervously. Ray had told him that Geoff had texted the Puerto Rican, just stating that Gavin had a seizure but he was fine, and that Gavin had requested he 'text his X-Ray'.

"Michael, man, you gotta calm down. He's fine, Geoff said so." Ray said, a helpless attempt at calming his fellow lad.

Safe to say it did not work.

"Calm down? Fucking calm down?" Michael raged.

"Yes, calm down." Jack said, entering the office, with Ryan following close behind him. Michael glared at Jack, but knew better than to argue, and sat down with a huff on his chair, though his leg started to bounce up and down immediately.

"What did Geoff say?" Ray asked, the anxiety evident in his voice.

"Gavin's fine. Apparently he has these every now and then, and they're just a part of his condition. He's just a little under the weather, but Geoff's taking good care of him.” Jack said firmly. “There’s nothing to worry about.” He added, when Michael still looked unsure.

“What are we doing today, then?” Ryan asked, noticing how on-edge Michael was.

“Geoff wants you to film your Rage Quit and edit it today, Michael. Ray, your Achievement Guides for Trials: Fusion – I’m gonna help you with them. Ryan, you know what you’re doing. Any queries about what we’re supposed to be doing, come find me.”

Michael opened his mouth to argue, but upon the stern look on Ryan’s face, closed it again. He tried to concentrate as he loaded up the stupid indie game that he had to play this week, but all he could think was Gavin.

His boy was sick. Michael and Gavin had avoided each other like wildfire, but the thought of Gavin being ill made Michael feel sick himself. He’d had a seizure. What if it had been like the worst one? This had to stop, Michael decided. He had to talk to his boy.

_But he’s got Geoff right now. You’ve got things to do._ Shaking himself out of his thoughts, Michael began to play the game.

* * *

 

_This is ridiculous,_ Jack thought, as he listened to the New Jersey man playing through his game for the fifth time. He was dying, but he wasn’t angry at all. He just wasn't paying attention at all, and Jack had decided that enough was enough.

Leaving the room momentarily, he pulled his phone out of his shorts pocket, and selected Geoff’s contact. Within a few rings, he picked up.

“Jack? Everything alright?” Geoff asked.

“How’s Gav?” Jack asked, hoping that he had gotten better in the past few hours.

“He’s… awake. A little drowsy and dopey, but he’s not throwing his guts up anymore, so that’s a bonus.” Geoff stated. “I’m just playing some GTA with him, trying to keep him occupied.”

“You think he’s up to a visitor?” Jack questioned warily.

“Uh, depends who it is… it’s Michael, isn’t it?” Geoff sighed.

“He’s driving Ryan and Ray mad. He’s not even paying attention to what he’s filming, he’ll be useless here. He freaked the fuck out when we told him.” Jack explained.

“I guess he could come down. Hold on a sec, I’ll ask Gav.”

Geoff put his hand over the speaker part of the phone, and jogged back into the Living Room, where Gavin was sat on the sofa, blankets wrapped around him, looking tired but otherwise fine.

“Hey buddy, is it alright if Michael comes to visit you for a while?” Geoff asked.

“Micoo? Yeah! Tell him to come down!” Gavin said, perking up immediately.

Geoff nodded, and repeated what Gavin had said to Jack, who laughed at the Brit’s enthusiasm to see his ‘boy’. Geoff hung up the phone shortly after, and sat back down to play some video games with Gavin once more.


	25. In Sickness and Health

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael takes care of his boi.

It had been three hours of laughter, brutal deaths and cargobob crashes, and finally the XBOX had been turned off. Michael 'Mogar' Jones had been in the Ramsey house for three hours. Both members of Team Nice Dynamite had apologised to each other, and they had eased into a GTA game. Geoff had left after half an hour, excusing himself to 'run some errands'. The gent was just glad that the two seemed to have made up.

  
Now, though, it was obvious that the British Lad was beginning to feel more exhausted. His symptoms had decreased, and he was feeling much better, but by 2pm, the Lad was on the verge of falling asleep. 

Once Michael noticed this, he turned the XBOX off, grabbing a blanket. When Gavin looked at him questioningly, Michael just shrugged, knowing that Gavin would not want his 'boi' to think he needed looking after. 

"I'm cold, asshole." Michael stated.

Gavin just nodded, going back to the program that was on the television. He didn't even notice when Michael draped the blanket over them both. Michael noticed how Gavin's eyes were drooping, how he was slowly curling up next to Michael. 

Michael stretched, and placed his arm over the back of the sofa, just above where Gavin's head rested. Within minutes, Gavin was asleep. Michael smiled slightly at the sight of the sleeping Lad, and took hold of his phone, texting Geoff.

_Gavin is asleep, he looks better.-Michael._

Gavin snuggled closer to Michael, his head now resting on Michael's shoulder. The New Jersey man now smiled even more, his body filling with a relaxed warmth. Gavin's breathing was soft and calm, and he looked peaceful. Within ten minutes of silence, Michael too was asleep. 

When Geoff returned an hour later, he found a sight that Griffon described as 'adorable'. Michael lay slouched on the couch, asleep, and Gavin was snuggled up to him, the Brit's head resting on his shoulder, a tan arm wrapped loosely around Michael's stomach, clutching him like a teddy bear.

“They’re so cute.” Griffon giggled.

“They’re assholes. They better not have made out on the couch.” Geoff huffed.

“They won’t have – don’t be a grouch.” Griffon pouted, kissing her husband on the cheek. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's short, but I've had this written for two weeks and I can't finish this scene, it's just terrible, whatever I write. I PROMISE I'LL WRITE MORE SOON, AND IT WONT BE 500 WORDS. *pinkie promises*


	26. The Italian Connection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael overhears Gavin speaking to his Grandfather, and things get a little out of hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PROMPT: Gavin speaks Italian on the phone to his grandfather and Michael finds it adorable. 
> 
> Hey guys, thanks for the prompt (from an anonymous on tumblr), if you have any more then go ahead and comment them or send them to me on its-xray-and-vav.tumblr.com!

"Essere seri , nonno!" ( _be serious, Grandfather)_.

  
Michael heard the British laughter flowing throughout the corridor, followed by more foreign words. Curious as ever, he headed towards the source of the sound, and found Gavin in the Conference Room, his phone pressed to his ear, a grin plastered on his face.

"Aspetta un secondo." _(hold on a second)_ Gavin said, looking up to see Michael.

  
Gavin looked up, placing the phone on the table that he was perched upon, and smiled at the sight of Michael. 

"Micoo! How you doing, boi?" Gavin asked. 

"Good, you're laughing really loudly, you know?" Michael replied. 

"Am I? Sorry, I get a bit carried away." Gavin chuckled. 

"You're in a good mood." Michael noted. "Who are you on the phone to?" 

"My Grandfather." Gavin answered. "I'm arranging to go and see him for a bit."

"In Italy?" Michael questioned, but Gavin held up a finger to Michael, picking up the phone. 

"Sono con il mio amico Michael, Nonno. Dire ciao!" _(I'm with my friend Michael, Grandfather. Say hello!)_ Gavin spoke.

"Hello, Mi-kai-el." Spoke a deep, accent-tinted voice from the phone. 

"Hi, Mr Free." Michael replied. 

"Michael lavora con me , Nonno." _(Michael works with me, Grandfather.)_

  
"I see his videos, good, yes? Is that right, Gavin?" Mr Free asked Gavin, who had set the conversation to speakerphone now. 

"Yes, Grandfather, that's good. Michael doesn't know any Italian." Gavin chuckled. 

"You taught him, no?" Mr Free questioned. 

"I've never taught him any Italian, no. I don't think Michael has enough patience to learn Italian, Grandfather." Gavin explained, laughing at the frown on Michael's face. 

"Sei e Michael insieme , Gavin ? Si flirtare con l'altro molto." _(Are you and Michael together, Gavin? You flirt with each other a lot.)_

  
Gavin burst out laughing, causing Michael to look at him in confusion. Gavin shook his head, and then remembered that he was on the phone and not on Skype.

"Non so , Nonno. Non ha idea di che cosa stiamo parlando." _(I don't know, Grandfather. He has no idea what we're talking about.)_

"Bene fretta e decidere, Gavin, ho bisogno di preavviso se io vado a prendere il mio abito da sposa." _(Well hurry up and decide, Gavin, I need notice if I'm going to get my wedding suit.)_

Gavin began laughing even harder, at which Michael gave up trying to understand what the two were saying. 

"Ciao, Nonno." Gavin said eventually, followed by a "ti amo."

He hung up the phone, feeling more cheerful than before, to see Michael looking amused. "You never told me you spoke Italian, Gavin. Fluent Italian, even." 

"My Grandfather taught me when I was younger, so we could communicate. His English isn't the best, as you saw." Gavin explained. 

"What did he say that made you laugh so much?" Michael questioned. 

"He decided that we need to need to get married, and tell him in advance so he can get a suit." Gavin stated calmly. 

"Marriage?" Michael choked, going slightly pink. "I didn't realise we were even dating." 

His Grandfather's words echoing throughout his mind, Gavin took a step towards Michael, though they were already in close proximity. 

"Fuck it." Gavin whispered. 

He walked towards Michael, and pressed his lips to the redhead's. Michael was stunned - one minute they had been having a conversation, the next minute, Gavin was kissing him. Michael quickly recovered from his shock, though, and kissed back Gavin. 

Gavin felt relief flood through him when Michael began to kiss him back - he hadn't fucked up majorly. Gavin deepened the kiss, and they went on for a few minutes before they both finally had to come up for air. 

"That was... unexpected." Michael breathed, looking at Gavin with wide eyes. 

"Sorry - I, uh, I can't stand this pissing around, Michael." Gavin said uncertainly. 

"What do you mean, Boi? I thought we were going to have a little friends with benefits thing going on?" Michael said, deciding to tease Gavin. 

"I - What?" Gavin questioned, his face falling. 

"God, Gav, are you oblivious? Will you stop being a minge and be my boyfriend?" Michael chuckled. 

"That would be pretty top." Gavin replied, a wide grin spreading across his face that made Michael's heart skip a beat, though he'd probably curse at you and furiously deny it if you asked him. 

"That's fucking sorted then, isn't it? Why didn't we do this two months ago?" Michael asked, rolling his eyes. 

"Because you're a mong and I'm too polite to point it out." Gavin shrugged. 

"Shut up." Michael laughed, glaring at Gavin playfully and bringing their lips together once more. "You're adorable when you speak Italian."


	27. Bloody Cedar!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael takes his 'boi' to the doctor's.

Gavin was not normal. Geoff had known that all along, but he never knew the extent; Gavin himself had made sure of that. The Brit’s health was a rollercoaster, and he was determined to be the only passenger on this ride.

But things were getting tougher to hide. After a particularly violent seizure that left him with several panic attacks and night terrors for three days, Michael had forced Gavin to go to the Doctors, convinced that he was being a ‘good boyfriend’.

Safe to say, Gavin was not best pleased.

But he loved Michael, and his boy was worried about him, so he complied. Also, Michael may or may not have threatened to tell Geoff that he was going through a rough patch again. Either way, they had taken a trip to the local doctors.

They had been there for less than five minutes, but it was evident to Michael that Gavin was nervous. Although his facial expression was as calm as ever, his knee was bouncing up and down, an outward sign of distress coming from the lad. Michael gave his hand a reassuring squeeze.

“Mr Gavin Free?” A kind-faced looking secretary called.

Gavin jumped at the sound of his name, but it took only a squeeze of the hand for him to return to reality. The two stood together, Michael silently reassuring Gavin that he wasn’t going anywhere. The two were directed to a room, and came face to face with Gavin’s doctor.

“So, Gavin, what’s the problem been?” Dr Elkin asked, watching Gavin intently.

“My, uh – my seizures have gone up in frequency a little.” Gavin said, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Don’t beat around the bush, Gav.” Michael sighed.

“I don’t believe I’ve seen you before. Gavin usually comes for his two-monthly check up with Mr Ramsey.” The Doctor noted, directing his gaze to Michael.

“I’m Michael, his boyfriend.” Michael announced casually. “His seizures are more frequent and they’re pretty bad.”

“Please explain. I assume you have been present for a few seizures?” Dr Elkin questioned.

“Yeah, Yeah, I have. They had settled down a bit, like they were less frequent and they only lasted for about thirty seconds. Ever since June, I guess, they’ve been worse. Like he shakes more.”

“Gavin, how do you experience the seizures, before, during and after?”

“They’re weird. I get less warning. I constantly have headaches, and they knock me offside for a bit after. The seizures themselves are the same – I don’t know how long I’m out for. When I come back, I’m sick sometimes, though it’s like the symptoms of flu, or seasonal allergies maybe.” Gavin explained.

“Hm, I think there’s no need to worry. Unfortunately, there’s nothing you can do about these. The Cedar season is in, which started in June. I’ve seen a few cases of Epilepsy in this practice, but none of your type. However, in three of those cases, Cedar has been known to set off seizures.”

“Cedar? Like allergies? Burnie has really bad cedar allergies.” Gavin answered.

“Almost like an allergy, yes. However, it’s not you that is allergic to Cedar. The medication you take for your Epilepsy contains a substance that is sensitive to Cedar pollen. It causes the increase in seizures, as you have noticed.”

“Is it dangerous for him?” Michael asked, his voice steady.

“Not particularly. If the seizures are caused by Cedar pollen, then they will be no longer than a minute, and you will experience some mild nausea after them, Gavin, but nothing extensive. If the seizures are longer than a minute, then they are not typically caused by Cedar pollen, and they are the dangerous ones, as you put it, Michael.” Dr Elkin explained.

“Is there anything I can do to stop them? Or limit them, at least.” Gavin questioned.

“Some patients have tried anti-histemines. Some claim they work, others not. They won’t stop the extra seizures, but they will reduce the number of them.” He explained.

“Thanks, Doc. I’ll pick some up on my way and give them a try.” Gavin replied.

“Any other problems, Gavin, then come and see me. It was nice meeting you, Michael.”

“You too, Doc.” Michael replied.

The pair left the Doctor’s surgery hand in hand, and climbed into Michael’s car. The redhead was just glad that Gavin was not in immense danger, and it was something that they could live with.

“We should warn the other guys.” Michael announced.

“No!” Gavin responded instantly.

“Why the hell not?” Michael questioned.

“I don’t want them to have to deal with it! I don’t want you to have to deal with it, love.” Gavin sighed.

“I knew what I was getting into, Gavin. So did the guys. They’re able and willing to help, but they need to be warned. It’s fair, and we’ll only tell them, I promise.”

“Okay, Michael. Team Nice Dynamite?”

“Team Nice Dynamite, Gav.”


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Rooster Teeth Crew are holding a Football/Soccer tournament for Extra Life, Michael gets a bit over-protective and Geoff overhears a private conversation.

It was two weeks into Cedar season, and Gavin was quite literally **sick** of it. He experienced all of the symptoms of being allergic to Cedar, and as amusing at it was to the others, behind the British stiff upper lip, he was struggling.

The seizures were getting more and more frequent, and it was certainly taking its toll on Gavin. Michael had informed their colleagues of Gavin’s current situation with regards to the Cedar, but Gavin was still reluctant to be open about the seizures.

Michael was worried about his boyfriend, of course, but he would not show it. Gavin didn’t want to be fussed over, and Michael just wanted his ‘boi’ to be happy. So he kept his mouth shut, and dealt with the post-seizure Gavin as best as possible, as did Geoff.

Gavin had been seizure-free for a week and a half, and he was overjoyed, though both Geoff and Michael were cautious. However, Gavin seemed to be getting better, so both remained quiet.

However, today was the first ever charity Soccer (“It’s football, Micool!”) match, and it was officially Team Lads vs Team Gents, though they had roped in other employees for both teams. It was all in aid of the Extra Life Stream they would be doing in a few weeks, and the videos would be released as a stretch goal.

In the Lads changing room (they had rented the local soccer field) was Michael, Gavin, Ray, Caleb and Kerry. The four Americans were crowded around the Brit that was currently in the arms of Michael, slowly returning to consciousness.

Nobody questioned the closeness of Team Nice Dynamite, and for that, Michael was grateful. There were more important matters at hand – like getting his boyfriend back to consciousness.

“Gav? You with me?” Michael asked softly.

“I’m here, Michael.” Gavin stated, his voice quiet and weak.

“Dude, you picked your timing perfectly – twenty minutes before kick-off.” Ray teased.

“Can you grab me some water?” Gavin asked, directing the question at nobody in particular.

It was Kerry that jumped up and left the changing rooms for a minute, returning within seconds with a sports bottle in his hand. Gavin received the bottle and took several long gulps. Michael and Caleb took and arm each, lifting the Lad back to his feet. Gavin paled, but looked otherwise conscious.

“You guys go and warm up, I’ll be out in a minute.” Gavin instructed.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” Ray muttered, shaking his head at Gavin in disbelief.

“Gavin, you can’t play straight after a seizure.” Kerry said. “It’s just stupid.”

“And Geoff will go mental.” Caleb added in.

“Geoff won’t know, because you’re not going to tell him until the match is over.” Gavin stated firmly.

“No way, he’ll have us by the balls!” Ray disagreed.

“Gavin knows his own limits. If he thinks he can play, then he can play. I’ll take the wrap for not telling Geoff, okay?” Michael stated, having been sitting quietly in thought for some time.

“You have a death wish.” Kerry sighed. 

“Just trust me, I’ll handle it. Can you give us a sec? Go warm up so it doesn’t look suspicious.” Michael instructed.

The others nodded, not wanting to disagree with the fiery man. Michael sat down next to Gavin, their eyes locked.

“You’re an idiot, you know that?” Michael sighed.

“Thanks for letting me play, Michael.” Gavin grinned.

“Yeah, well make the most of my kindness, ‘cause I’ll be dead when  Daddy Geoff finds out.” Michael scoffed, but smiled at the Brit all the same. “So, as soon as the match is over, you’re going to go home and sleep.”

“But Michael, I want to celebrate our Team Lads win!” Gavin pouted.

“No. I can’t believe I’m not stopping you from playing, but I am. So you’re to rest afterwards. You’ll be at the celebration BBQ after.” Michael reasoned.

“Yes, Dad.” Gavin said sarcastically.

“Hey, you’re my boi, and I’m not having you being and ill and tired for our barbeque, okay?” Michael sighed.

Gavin nodded, and they sealed their agreement with a kiss. Gavin quickly tied the laces of his boots and drank a bottle of Lucosade down in one before jogging out onto the pitch, Michael following closely behind.

Michael felt his body be tugged to one side, and turned to see that Kerry was the culprit. He frowned at the younger man.

“Is Gavin alright?” Kerry asked quietly.

“He’s okay. He’s gonna rest after this.” Michael replied.

Kerry nodded, seeming to believe that Michael wouldn’t  lie to him. They held a team talk, and the game was soon underway. Gus was commentating, and read out the teams. Fans had been invited along for the match, and quite a few had turned up, as well as friends and family of the Rooster Teeth crew. Meg was in the stands, and she had agreed to Skype George, Gavin’s brother, to show him what they were doing.

“On Team Lads we have Gavin Free, Michael Jones, Ray Narvaez Jr, Kerry Shawcross and Caleb Denecour!” Gus announced. “And for Team Gents, we have Geoff Ramsey, Ryan Haywood, Jack Pattillo, Burnie Burns and Joel Heyman!”

The game soon kicked off, and it was obvious that Team Lads were in far better physical condition than Team Gents, even with Ray’s horrendous kicking and catching skills. However, Michael and Gavin made a brilliant team, especially as strikers. At half time, Team Lads were 3-0 up.

As they all filed into the dressing room, there were quick questions to Gavin, asking if he was okay, and the subject was dropped. Gavin felt grateful that his friends weren’t treating him any differently. Caleb took the opportunity to tell a few jokes and give a small pep talk, though they didn’t need one – they were doing well.

However, it all changed in a heartbeat when Ryan completed a bad tackle on Gavin, and the Lad went flying to the ground. Blaine, who was refereeing, blew his whistle, signalling for a penalty, as Gavin had been in the penalty box of Team Gents. However, the penalty was not Ryan’s main concern – Gavin was still down, and Michael was furious.

He stormed up to Ryan, rage flowing through him. He shoved him hard in the chest, squaring up to him. “What the hell did you do that for, Ryan? You could have broken his leg!” Michael roared. Ryan squared up to Michael, not liking the Lad treating him like that. “What the fuck is your problem?” Ryan asked.

Geoff and Blaine separated Ryan and Michael, all too aware that there were fans of Rooster Teeth in the stands. Blaine, to try and cool the situation, gave both of them a red card, effectively sending them off the pitch in different directions. Michael, however, made sure that Gavin was okay before leaving the pitch, still clearly very angry.

Gavin was running around now, albeit tenderly, and the game was underway, both teams down to four players now. The match ended soon after, with Team Lads winning 4-1, and Geoff making a small speech about how much they were grateful for the support. Jack joined in, overwhelmed at how much money they had raised for the Extra Life Stream next week.

When they all left the field, Geoff stormed straight over to Michael, who was sitting in the changing room looking like a scorned puppy.

“What the hell were you thinking, Michael?” Geoff snapped.

“I – I just lost it Geoff. Sorry.” Michael muttered, avoiding the man’s eyes.

“Yeah, well just try and keep it in check, huh? We’ve got a reputation to uphold.” Geoff sighed.

With that, the Gent left to go and give a similar speech to Ryan, who had squared up to Michael. The rest of Team Lads went to find their various girlfriends, friends and family, leaving Michael and Gavin alone.

“Are you okay?” Michael asked Gavin.

“It’s sweet and all that you want to protect me, Michael, but I can handle myself. You got yourself sent off, and had an argument with Ryan, for no reason.” Gavin stated, his voice soft.

“I know, I just hated seeing him treat you like that.” Michael sighed. “I love you, you know, nobody deserves to be treated like shit.”

It took a few seconds for Michael to realise what he had said, as it was their first time saying it to each other. Gavin’s face lit up, and he grinned at Michael. “I love you too, my little Mogar. You were a top player today. Tottenham should sign you.”

Geoff turned away from the Changing Room, knowing that he had intruded on a personal moment. However, his suspicions had been confirmed – Gavin and Michael were very clearly in a relationship, and by the sounds of it, have been for quite a while. Geoff was fine with it… unless Michael hurt Gav, and then the redhead would have some trouble breathing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you guys have any prompts or ideas for the story, then please feel free to send them to me on tumblr (its-xray-and-vav.tumblr.com) or comment them on the story, and I'll more than happily give them a go!
> 
> P.S - Christmassy fluff coming up, as it's that time of year!


	29. Laser Team Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laser Team is taking it's toll on Gavin, and his boi is worried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wahoo, first chapter of 2015! Thanks for sticking with me, you lovely people.

Gavin had just come off set, and they had been filming in the day for the first time in several weeks. The night-filming had exhausted both Michael and Gavin, but Michael was not needed for that particular scene. They only had around four days left of filming, which the couple were more than grateful for. The only time that they had spent together was on set, where they were not really able to be a couple. Especially with Gavin's facial hair; Michael found the pedophillic look slightly off-putting. 

So Gavin had the make-up artists remove his costume design, including the awful facial hair, and he was finally free for a day. He wasn't needed until tomorrow evening, though he had to go back to Achievement Hunter tomorrow morning. Gavin wasn't complaining about being a movie star - trust him, it was amazing. It was just taking it's toll on the Brit. 

Gavin yawned loudly, stretching the day's stress away. He caught a lift back to Rooster Teeth with Burnie, who had been on set today. The two exchanged little conversation, both comfortable listening to the radio. They went their separate ways once stepping into the Reception, Burnie going up to his office and Gavin to the Achievement Hunter office. 

He opened the door, finding almost everyone gone, save Ryan and Michael. Michael was waiting for him, needing to talk to him about something, and Ryan was his lift home. Gavin had recently moved out of Geoff's house, the Lad wanting more of his own space, especially with Michael. Gavin greeted the other two quietly, going over to his computer. The time read 6:00pm, and Gavin knew that he had work to finish. He was supposed to be talking with the owner of an old industrial space with regards to blowing it up for the Slow Mo Guys, but Gavin hadn't even gotten around to it yet. 

He brought up his email, and began to type an email up to the owner when he felt the first tug. Gavin tried to ignore it, brushing it off as just tiredness. Cedar Season was over, and the frequency of Gavin's seizures had dropped drastically. He had maybe two or three a month, if he was lucky. However, a minute later, the darkness was beginning to seep into the edges of his vision, and he wheeled his chair over to Michael, who was talking casually with Ryan. Michael only had to glance at Gavin's unusually pale face to capture his attention. 

"Michael, seizure." Gavin managed to squeeze out. 

Michael and Ryan were up in and instant, as Gavin went slack for a few seconds. Ryan took the opportunity to pick Gavin up with surprising ease; then again, the Brit weighed very little. Michael quickly cleared the sofa, and Ryan lay the Brit down on the sofa. Seconds later, Gavin began to thrash around, Ryan jogging off to get the Lad a bottle of water for when he woke up. 

Michael knelt down so that he was level with the seizing Brit, wincing when his boyfriend let out a terrified scream. Michael tensed, attempting to reassure himself that Gavin was fine, he wasn't in danger and that it was just a seizure. As the seconds began to tick by, panic began to swirl in the pit of Michael's stomach. 

"Come on, Gav, wake up. We can go home as soon as you come back to us. Ryan's gone to get some water for you, and I'm here, Gav. I'm not going anywhere, I promise."

Ryan returned, placing the bottle of water next to Michael, who was now gripping Gavin's hand, and watching him in desperation. Ryan knew of the feelings between the two men, hell, everyone did, but Ryan didn't realise the extent of it. The others, he didn't really know, but they had all guessed it was just some sort of friends with benefits arrangement. Clearly, it wasn't.

When it hit two minutes, the Brit had stopped seizing. Michael released Gavin's hand, knowing that Gavin didn't like to be touched when he came back around. Michael just sat talking to Gavin in a quiet, soft tone that Ryan rarely heard the usually rage-filled man use. Slowly, Gavin became to come back to them. Eventually his eyes fluttered open, and instantly locked onto Michael.

"Micoo." Gavin whispered.

"Yeah, Gav, I'm here." Michael replied, giving his 'boi' a soft smile.

"I'm sorry." He sighed. "I love you, Michael."

Gavin rested his head on Michael's shoulder, even more exhausted than he was now. "Yeah, I love you too, Gav." Michel sighed, allowing the other to snuggle into him. The two stayed like that for a minute or so, before Michael seemed to remember that Ryan was also in the room, when the elder coughed awkwardly.

"You can go home, Ry, I'll take Gav." Michael stated, nodding at the Gent.

"Okay. Get some sleep, Gav. I'll check on you tomorrow." Ryan stated.

He waved to the pair, and headed into the kitchen to pick up his travel mug from the dishwasher, when he remembered that he had left his jacket in the office. He rinsed his mug, and walked quietly back towards the office, the door already open. He popped his head around the door, to find an adorable sight: Michael and Gavin on the sofa, both fast asleep, with Gavin's arms wrapped around Michael like he was a teddy bear. Not wanting to disturb them, Ryan decided to get his jacket tomorrow morning.

And as the man drove home, he thought about the scene he had just witnessed. The two were in love, they had stated it merely twenty minutes ago, but seeing them so vulnerable with each other really confirmed it.  Michael and Gavin truly loved each other. Ryan guessed that the whole relationship had been going on for at least a few months, and thinking back, he understood why Michael had been so mad at him for tackling Gavin so brutally in the Charity Football Match a few months ago. He had hurt Gavin, and by extension, that hurt Michael. 

As Ryan sat with his children and wife that night, he felt happy, not just for himself (with having such a fantastic family) but also for Gavin and Michael, and that they had clearly found some sort of comfort and happiness with each other. 


	30. The Live Stream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For the next stream, Rooster Teeth re-visits the Epilepsy ward at their local hospital, and they show the audience just how much their donations helped one of their own.

When they first approached the idea, Gavin was firmly against it. Reveal his condition to millions of fans? No thanks. The more he thought about it, though, the more he started to see the benefits. The donations that had been destined for the Epilepsy ward had been beneficial to him - instead of travelling halfway across the state for treatment or whenever he had a seizure, he could simply be taken to the local hospital. 

Within two weeks of Jack first bringing the subject up, Gavin was on board. As soon as they were given the go-ahead, the brakes were off and the wheels set in motion. They had filmed in the actual hospital, and Geoff had filmed slight bits of Gavin's hospital trips over the past two years, in case it was ever needed. Gavin had often joked about his whole life being on camera, but this was really testing that thesis. 

A month and a half later, it was the night of the stream, and to say that Gavin was nervous was an understatement. He had been on edge about it all day, despite Michael's attempts to calm him, which were futile. The redhead was anxious about the reveal himself, and Ray had eventually escorted him away when Gavin admitted that Michael was only making him more nervous. 

Gavin, Michael and Ray were coming onto the stream at around 6pm, the time when it was predicted that the stream would be most watched. They had announced that there would be a special video about their cause being released at that time, and there was a lot of speculation on social media over what it could be. Come five thirty, Gavin was standing in the kitchen with Ryan, who had turned up for moral support. 

"This is going to make a big difference, you know?" Ryan stated, and Gavin merely nodded his head slightly. "I mean it, the donations will multiply when the fans discover where there money has been going." 

Gavin simply took another swig of his beer. 

At five fifty three, Michael sent Gavin a text telling him to come to the stage, as they needed to get comfy before the announcement. Gavin reluctantly headed up to the stage, the swirling pit of anxiety in the bottom of his stomach growing worse by the second. 

He ditched the beer in favour of a bottle of water, and found that Caiti had gone for a break, leaving her spot for Gavin to sit on. He sat down next to Jack, who whispered a reassuring "it'll be fine" in his ear, before they had to continue the stream. 

Gavin forced his usual confident, bubbly persona to come through to the cameras, knowing that if he showed any sign of unease on camera, the viewers would detect it, and that was something that Gavin  **really** did not want. He laughed at Barbara's pun, and had a poke-war with Michael for a minute or so. 

6pm came around all too soon for Gavin, and Brandon began to count them down from behind the camera. When he gave the signal, the video began to play, and the footage of the live stream was replaced by said video. Michael took the opportunity to take Gavin's hand into his own and gave it a reassuring squeeze. The video was being played on a screen in front of them, so some of them were seeing it for the first time too. 

_"Hi, I'm Gavin, though most of you know that." Gavin spoke, smiling slightly at the camera. "We're at the Austin Medical Center, where some of your donations from last year's Extra Life stream went. I'm here with Mr Jack Pattillo, who's been speaking to some of the doctors here."_

_The camera switched from Gavin's grinning face to a cheerful-looking Jack, who stood next to a friendly doctor. They had a small conversation about the technicalities of the machinery and staff that the money had bought. The scene then changed to a different scene; Caiti with one of the nurses, who looked familiar to Gavin._

_"Before your donations, we couldn't treat some rarer forms of Epilepsy here, and patients had to travel as far as Houston and Dallas to receive treatment." The nurse spoke, and then it showed some more improvements around the hospital._

Gavin's heart rate began to pick up further, as he knew what was coming. Sure enough, Jack was on the screen all too soon. 

_"One of our own has been truly affected by your generosity. Gavin?" Jack had introduced._

_"Hey guys, me again. Your donations have helped more than you could ever know. I was diagnosed with Temporal Lobe Epilepsy. It's a rare form of Epilepsy where when I have a seizure, instead of simply blacking out, I go into a hallucinogenic state. Like a nightmare, really. They only last a few minutes at most, but as you can probably imagine, it's pretty scary. Whenever I had a particularly bad seizure, I would have to be taken to Dallas for treatment, which for those who don't know, is over a three hour drive. It wasn't ideal. After your donations, I was able to be given the best medical care right here in Austin, and for that I can't thank you enough."_

The video ended shortly after that, and Michael had left the stage just after Gavin's speech, muttering something about a drink. Some of the staff members sat in shock; Gavin had never really discussed his condition with the majority of them, they simply knew that he had some form of epilepsy. Twitter was silent for a minute or so, and then it exploded. When the cameras were focused on the streaming of some games, Gavin snuck off stage, but was quickly tailed by Barbara.

"Gav, how are you feeling about questions, because Twitter is full of 'em." Barb asked lightly. 

"Just give me a sec, I'm up for questions, but just, you know, pick selectively." Gavin replied.

Barbara agreed, and headed back to the stream. She explained to the people at home that Gavin had gone to get another drink, and when he came back, he would try to answer some of their questions. Meanwhile, Caiti had returned, and when a donations check had been done, the donations had increased from $300,000 to over $500,000. Unbelievable. In fact, Caiti left to find Brandon, who was assisting with the stream, to see if the website had broken. 

When Gavin returned, he mentally prepared for the whirlwind of questions coming his way. His seat had been taken on the sofa (as expected) by a smiling Michael, so naturally Gavin sat at his boyfriend's feet, ready for whatever was coming his way. Well, almost ready. 

"So, Gav, @MogarIsReady12 wants to know how people in the office react to your seizures." Barbara stated. 

"Well, not many of the Rooster Teeth employees deal with them, to be honest. Geoff goes mental - it's like Dad mode is activated. Jack is calm as ever, and Ryan's surprisingly calm too - not the murderous Mad King at all. Ray freaks the hell out, and Michael, well, he's just Michael." Gavin said, smiling when he mentioned his boyfriend's name. 

He answered a few more questions, and they were what he had expected, really: details about his condition, how he dealt with them, what happened when they happened. Gavin dreaded to think of what type of fanfictions would come out of this video, but hey, whatever helped the donations, right?

"Gav, we have a question from @AH_Michael, he says can you please stop being a sappy git and play some Prop Hunt with him, as you love him so much?" Barbara read, smiling. 

Gavin looked up to see his boyfriend grinning at him, and Gavin just laughed. "Hm, I think some Prop Hunt is a good idea, Barbs." Gavin agreed. "You know, as I love Michael so much." 


End file.
